Post 149: No, X-Files, No!

I am a fan of X-Files, I cannot deny it. I love the show and the chemistry between Scully and Fox. But I will shoot myself in the foot (with a rubber band, because I 'm too afraid this will happen) if they make a new series.

The new season is like a mini-series. It has Fox and Scully back in the saddle again, it is like a continuation. It is great.

However, the newest episode "Babylon", just introduced a pretty boy, daydreamer FBI agent and a red-headed, cynical agent. Sound familiar? Sounds like they are trying to introduce a new agent Scully and Fox, so that they can create a spin-off.

Red-head is also a scientific minded agent who doubts Mulder. Pretty boy is overjoyed at the idea of working in the X-Files, he called it is "dream job". AKA, the new generation of X-Files agents that are basically just younger versions of the original.

Guess what new pretty boy's name is? Miller. So, Agent Miller is the new Agent Mulder.
And even more laughable, Agent Einstein is the rational agent. Einstein. Like really? Anyway, she even has the same hair cut as Dana. Which is unfortunate, because she would really look better with bangs.

The entire episode they switch partners. Dana works with mini-Mulder. And Mulder works with mini-Dana.

I don't want a new spin-off series. Especially not like this.

If a spin-off is going to happen, I don't want it to be like the new Annie. I don't want them to just try and recreate the original. It never works. The new mini-Mulder and mini-Scully don't have the same chemistry, they don't have the same presence on screen, they just aren't the same as Fox and Scully.

If they are going to do a new series they should do something different. Even if it is just swapping their genders and making a girl the one that believes. Maybe having two scientific minded people who have to work with some consultant that is totally out there. Maybe two female or two male agents. Even just making it so that they aren't JUST younger versions of the originals.

If people want to see a cynical red head poking holes in a somewhat radical FBI agents belief in aliens, they can watch the original series.

The show that it seems like they are suggesting and setting up ALREADY EXISTS and it is still popular. It still trends on Netflix and the new mini-series with the original Scully and Mulder will send more people back to it.

PLEASE, please do not let them just try to recreate the old X-Files. It never works out as well as they think it will. And, these two new actors - one of whom I actually know from playing Freddie in the unpopular live-action remake movies of Scooby Doo - just don't seem like they are as deep (or even really capable of playing as deep) as the original characters.

I don't want a X-Files Light version. Please, X-Files, keep the original actors or try something new.

Post 148: Princess and the Frog Re-Write

So, while my mom was in Denmark she picked up tiny frogs for the people in her office. Tiny frogs with tiny crowns. They are adorable. I also got one. Anyway, while the Grimm Brothers were not actually Danish, the story of the Frog Prince is often set in Denmark (at least, the Prince is in Denmark). So, it was an appropriate gift from the country (even though I'm thinking that it is actually in the gift shop because they are trying to get tourists to assume it was by H.C. Andersen). But, it still works. 

Anyway, I wrote a version of the story to company the tiny frog. And this is what I wrote:

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Once upon a time, back when people believed in magic and feared witches as they should, a young German prince made a horrible mistake. He was out in the woods and came across a well. Most wells today have lost their charm, but in the prince’s day some wells were a home to a witch.  And if you dropped her a coin, a gem, or offering of another sort that pleased her, she would grant your wish.

The prince believed in wishes and magic, but believed them to be cheats and trickery. So, when he came upon the well and looked down into its depths, he scoffed and threw down a rock, “if this truly is a magic well, then I wish that the rock would turn into a piece of silver and return back to me.” 

He heard a noise and out came a piece of silver and it flew right up to him, only to hit him square between his eyes. He cursed and drew his sword shouting things that should not have come from a prince's mouth. He started kicking at the well and as stones tumbled down from its a walls, the witch awoke and she was not happy.

“How dare you take for granted the gift you were given, when you were lucky to receive any gift at all!” The witch was enraged at the prince’s disrespect. As she came out of the well with clouds of smoke billowing up behind her, the prince jumped back and, though he’d never admit it, he was very afraid. 

“If you were so great and powerful, you’d know I was a prince and would need a silver coin. And as a prince, you should not have had it sent out in such a manner!” He stood with his shoulders pulled too far back as he tried to feign courage. 

“I see…you don’t like the wish I gave you. How about I give you another? One that will teach you to appreciate the power of magic. Since you are so concerned with being treated as a prince…how about I turn you into something else…like a mouse?” The witch said, chuckling as he grimaced in response. 

“I do not wish to impose upon you any further. There is no need to grant any more wishes, especially ones I did not ask for,” he responded. 

“You’re right…you’re right…but I insist…Though, mice have many redeeming qualities. Some even are made to be pets…no, let me think…ah ha! I will make you a frog!” Before he could protest, he suddenly found himself staring at the bottom of the well. He was now quite small. 

“What have you done to me? You have striped me of my birthright! My crown!” He shouted as loudly as his little lungs could. 

The witch stooped over and place a ring of gold on his head, “here you go, a tiny crown for a tiny prince.” She chuckled as she started to return down the well. 

“Wait! Isn’t there anything I can do to be a prince again?” He shouted after her hopping towards the well after her. 

“Quite simple really. Find a princess. Get her to kiss you. Simple as that.” 

“But I’m a frog, who would kiss a frog?” The frog prince said in despair. 

The witch disappeared with her final words echoing through the well, “that was kind of the point, princey.”

The frog prince was upset, but determined. He set off to find a princess that would kiss him, or even just talk to him without sending cats or shoes flying at him. It took longer than he expected. He hopped through most of Europe before he finally came to Denmark, the land of cobblestones and amber. 

While he was discouraged by his lack of progress, he had not given up hope. However, the cobblestones hurt his little legs. After all, he could not wear shoes. So, he hopped and hopped until he came to a pond in a nice garden. 

He thought to himself, ‘this will be a nice place to relax.’ As he was swimming in the pond, he did not a notice a young girl sitting on bridge that divided the well. If he had noticed, he would not have been so surprised by the loud plop of her golden ball falling into the water. 

He turned and saw the young girl crying. He swam over to ask her what was wrong. 

“Excuse me, miss? Why are you crying? Did you drop something into the water?” The girl jumped up as she was startled by his words, or by the mere fact he was a talking frog. 

“It’s…it’s princess to you, frog. And I dropped my favorite golden ball. Now I will never get it back!” She finished in a loud sob, but while her words made her cry harder, the frog prince found joy in them. Or, rather, hope. 

“I will get it back for you. If you will promise to help me in return.” He said. 

“Yes, yes. Of course!” The princess shouted eagerly, not knowing what it was she had even agreed to do. 

The frog prince quickly swam down, and only upon returning did he realize how difficult his feat actually was, as swimming as a frog really took all of his limbs – so, he had to hold the ball with his mouth. 

When he got to the top and she had acquired her ball, he made his way next to her on the bridge, “now you owe me. You promised.” 

“Yes, yes. What do you want?” She said, eager to get rid of this strange talking thing. 

“A kiss-“ he barely finished saying it when the princess burst into laughter. 

“Surely, you can’t be serious. I’m a princess…I’m not going to kiss a frog!” 

“But I’m not really a frog! I’m a prince!” He argued. 

She laughed again before saying, “right…you’re really a prince and I’m really a turnip.”

“You promised!” He protested hopping up and down angrily, like a child throwing a tantrum.

“Alright, alright!” The princess shouted rolling her eyes in defeat. She bent over, picked up the frog and kissed him as quickly and distantly as possible. And though her eyes were closed, when it was over she could tell she was no longer in the presence of a frog. 

She opened her eyes, and he was a prince. 

“Thank you, princess! You have saved me from a lifetime of webbed-ribbit!” He laughed and waved his hand dismissively, “force of habit. I’m sure it will go away.” 

In the end, the frog prince became a frog again and he was very grateful to the princess. She was very excited that he was not just a frog, because it meant that she could go the rest of her life knowing she hadn’t kissed a frog, but a prince. And in typical fairy tale fashion, they got married and lived happily ever after. 

And the moral is: Sometimes you have to kiss a frog to get a prince, but just because he turns into a prince doesn’t necessarily mean he will stop acting like a frog.