Post 70: The Kinds of Pride

Today, I kind of want to talk about pride. I think there are different kinds of pride that follow from the reasons why people are proud. For example, people can feel pride for their kids, no matter how involved they actually were in shaping their kid's life. Even if they were not involved at all, they see that their kid has achieved something and feel proud of themselves. Which doesn't really make sense to me.

I'm not a parent, though. So, maybe it is a parent thing. I mean, I know that physically they were involved in creating the kid, but genes are only part of what shapes a person.

There is also the pride you feel in things because you worked for them. I mean, really worked for them with blood, sweat, tears, and hours of time and effort. Or maybe less, but you still put in effort to get the result that you got. This one makes the most sense to me. It is also kind of why I sometimes find it hard not to focus on the numbers, like I discussed some in an earlier post. Numbers are tangible. You can see that you have improved if the number improves.

It is actually one of the reasons I like working on things in Excel. Like making lists or working on them. Because if there is a number, I can measure what I've done and how much. I can be proud and say I've done a thousand lines in five hours. Or if I am writing, I can say I've done 2,000 words in an hour. I can mark how far I've gone. Which can make me feel proud. If I only used to be able to do 1,000 words in an hour, I feel like I improved.

Then there is pride that people just have. I mean, there really seems to be no justified reason behind it. They just are proud. I guess, without a reason at all to back it up on, it is really kind of hollow. Yet, it does come tied up with self-confidence. And as long as it is kept in check, it isn't necessarily a bad thing. It is only when it causes a person's ego to grow so much that they are incapable of admitting any faults or ever changing.

I think more often than not that this kind of pride starts out as a pride in accomplishments, but the person becomes so focused on some action of the past that they never change.

This comes on Kitchen Nightmares, yet I am going to talk about that show again. A lot of the chefs are really proud of their food and when questioned they point to these awards they won in the past, like 10 or 20 years in the past. And they refuse to accept that maybe what was good then isn't as good now, or that the standards have fallen. They are so proud of their food that they are blinded to the problems with it.

Last kind of pride I want to talk about is the fragile pride that comes along with anyone who expresses themselves artistically. Whether it be music, art, poetry, writing, etc. Now not all people in this boat may face the same issues, some may only face this issue when they are first starting out. Others may always find this an issue. What I am talking about is the pride you feel when you accomplish something and you worked so hard on it that it has become a part of you, but you have to accept that others may not see its value.

When you look at a spreadsheet or grade report, people can see what you have done. They can measure it, quantify it, analyze it, and whatever else they choose.

It isn't the same with art. Sure, you can say you spent hours on it, but it can't be quantified in numbers the same way. And simply saying how long you worked on it doesn't express how much effort was put into it. How much love and emotion or how much passion.

It is the same with writing. Yes, you can do a word count. But, truly good pieces of writing aren't about the length, but about the content. It doesn't matter if you have a million words down, if it is just the same word over and over.

But not everyone understands that and they try and put into to mathematical terms. They try and set a value to something that you put your heart into, and knowing his can effect how much pride you feel for something.

I am always proud of my stories or poems, even when I know they are a mess, because I know how much I put into them. But there are certain people that I feel incredibly anxious asking to read what I have written, because I know they won't understand how much I put into them.

And there is always a part of yourself that attaches to these things, so when they are criticized (not critiqued, but truly criticized) it can hurt. Which is why, I think calling it a fragile pride makes sense. If everyone says they hate it, it might effect how much pride you feel towards it, but it will never go away completely because you know how much went into it.

Anyway, that is all I really wanted to talk about today. So, I will say adieu until next time.