Post 122: Define Friend

In Phil of Ed. (what I will be calling Philosophy of Education from now on), we discussed necessary and contingents truths, which isn't as important as one of the truths the Professor put up as one he believed was necessary: "happy people have friends".

And it got me thinking, is that really necessary? I mean, I think that people need to form relationships, that is like a basic part of human nature, but does that mean they have to be friends?

Let's use a student as an example.

If the student has lots of good relationships with people in classes, (they talk, walk out of class together, laugh together), does that mean they are really friends? If they are friendly with every one in all their classes, they could fulfill the need for human interaction. But does friendly mean friend? 

There are a lot of people I am friendly with, but wouldn't classify as a friend. And I think that this is an important distinction and idea to think about, especially in the age of social media where anyone can "friend" anyone without knowing much, if anything, about them. 

I can "friend" a professor, TA, stranger, classmate, celebrity, etc. But that doesn't mean they are my friend. And I wouldn't really recommend "friending" your professors, maybe your TAs but that kind of depends.

Anyway, back to the student.

Let us assume that they have had Facebook for three or four years now, and they have had group projects in half their classes, and during each group project they have added their group mates. If they are a third year having taken four classes a semester, with no summer semester that is at least 6 "friends". Plus the friends they had from high school that they no longer talk to, so maybe "60". Then the friends of friends that come up as suggestions, "10". Then the people they have met at parties, who lived in their dorm, who they met on the bus, "60". Then the celebrities they follow, "10".

That is almost 150 people.

That is a low estimate. On average Facebook users (adults) have over 300 friends, the mean is about 200 friends.

So, that is a lot of people that sit there in their "friends" list. But how many do they talk to?

More importantly, how many of them are real "friends"?

I guess, it depends on the definition. I think that there are certain things required in a relationship between two people to count as friendship: like trust, loyalty, etc.

I mean, I have friends that I am very different from, but I know that I can trust them with a secret or count on them to help me when I am in trouble.

If all 300 and some odd number "friends" were real friends, then great!

But that doesn't really seem the case.

So, if the student has people to talk to and has formed relationships, do they have to be friendships?

I honestly don't know. I think it depends on what we define as "friendship", in this day in age where it extends to anyone with internet access, then maybe it does require friends. I don't know what a friend is, not in a way that can be defined, but I do know who my friends are and that is really good enough for me. It doesn't answer my questions, but I didn't really expect to find the answer.