Post 169: Lactose Intolerance and Respect in Business pt. 2

Click here to read Part 1. 

It is hard to exactly relay the events that occurred through the last metaphor I used. So, I will try my best but it might be a little weird. Basically, last time, the overall metaphor was a catering company at an event that was already approved to come through and the people at the event had to pay for grilled cheese despite being lactose intolerant. The people asked if they could just have bread or toast, but their requests were refused. They were also told that if they didn’t get a grilled cheese, no one at the table was allowed to have one either.

To me, the big red flags were in terms of just blatant disrespect. But, I still suspected she would order the grilled cheese. And I was right. In doing so, everyone got a grilled cheese, and let’s say, after everyone was able to order they symbolically protested the grilled cheese at a lactose intolerant dominated lunch.

(Realizing now that it might have been easier to make the metaphor with Vegans).

Now, in the end she basically ordered the grilled cheese anyway because she was told that no one else could order unless she ordered. So, taking a step back, if she was on a committee over seeing an event, she is told they have to order grilled cheese. If she doesn’t order it, no one gets any at her table or any other table. But, her table is also the only table that gets a say, if they all order then the other tables can order too. If she doesn’t order, no one gets anything. So she orders, so that the other tables can order and when they find out that they can only get grilled cheese, they are upset. Together, now that they’ve all been asked to order, they tell the catering company that no, they will not eat the grilled cheese and petition for a new catering company.

On the one hand, I think this was a good turn of events. Because she ordered, it gave everyone else a chance to order. If she had said no, no one would have gotten anything and they wouldn’t have known why they weren’t getting anything other than that it was her fault somehow. But this sort of assumes both that enough people will be lactose intolerant or realize the inconvenience to those who are and that enough people will stand up and say something.

It could have easily gone the other way and they’d have been stuck with grilled cheese sandwiches and with the authority they got from rolling over this time, maybe the catering company would come back with a just a slice of cheese option.

I think she had to have a lot of faith in the people at the other tables to put the decision up to them and hope they’d make the call that they did. And the bigger issue is on the end of the place that hires the catering company. What if they decide to ignore the petition? All the wiggle room will be gone if the place hosting the event says they still have to use that catering company anyway. And once they’ve been given that authority regardless of the opinions of those on the committee or attending the event, they likely won’t even bother to ask anything at all going forward.

Too many other people (those who can eat cheese and, perhaps, don’t believe or support those who are lactose intolerant) might like and support the catering company to make expensive changes on behalf of the non-grilled cheese eaters.

Is it better then if they still continue to serve grilled cheese? Does giving people a voice negate the problems of accepting the disrespect, if the outcome doesn’t really change.

It is just such a hard dilemma. I believe I said this last time as well, I’m glad it is not a decision I had to make.

Post 168: Celebrity Sightings and Keeping Cool

I am aggressively eating a gummy worm as I type this. I had a realization today that has thrown me for a bit of a loop. I would like to think that if I met a celebrity I wouldn’t freak out. I’ve met Kyle Massey. In like 2006-2007, I was 14/15. He was with his friends at a Dave and Busters at the Irvine Spectrum Mall in California. I was there with two of my friends, one of whom played DDR with him. It was a brief hang out. I believe they exchanged numbers, but she was pretty in love with one of the Jonas Brothers, so if anything she would have texted to see if he had their number.

If you are in Southern California and want to meet a celebrity, Irvine Spectrum and Fashion Island are the malls to hang out at. At Irvine Spectrum, I also ran into Vince Vaughn and Rebecca Black. At Fashion Island, I ran into Lo Bosworth. At a restaurant near them both, a teppanyaki place, I ran into Kobe Bryant.

Actually, he ran into me. Literally. He practically ran me over.

If you don’t know, a teppanyaki place has a big flat stove where the entire thing is one big heating surface. Around the stove is a table for people to eat. There are usually at least 8, but as many as 16, chairs around that. Like an island bar, but instead of a bar it is a stove. Chefs prepare your food right in front of you. Because of how big these are and how many seats they have, people in small groups will eat with other groups. There are no tables for two or less. He was there with his date and without a reservation, demanding not only to be seated right away but to have a whole table to themselves. Despite being two people, in a busy restaurant on a Friday night with at least 15 people with reservations still waiting to be seated. And he was so upset. The manager handled really well and said, “no, we can add you the waiting list or see if a spot is available at a table but we cannot give your party its own table with only two people.” Finally, tired of waiting and being told no, he turned to storm out. And little 11-year-old me was in line behind him with my family (we did have a reservation, it was my birthday dinner and we did have a reservation. I don’t know if he didn’t see me or didn’t think to look because he turned and stormed right into me before I could move. He almost knocked me over. And did I hear an apology? No. Did I hear a grumbled, “move”? No. He didn’t say anything. He just kept going, probably a little upset that I ruined his dramatic exit.

I’ve also met a couple singers in concert. I couldn’t tell you their names, I just remember lining up with my aunt because she wanted their autograph. I got a picture with them too, but I didn’t know who they were so didn’t really care.

Anyway, my point really is that, I have encountered celebrities before and been ambivalent, except with Kobe. Then, I was annoyed because he stepped on my foot and it had hurt.

So, I often would like to think this reflects the rationale knowledge that celebrities are people, not their characters and not magazine articles but actual people. When people spazz about how much they love a celebrity, I ask “but do you even know them?” When fangirls on YouTube get all “you don’t belong with X, you belong with Y (or me)” or “why did you guys break up? You were perfect together.” I can respond (though I don’t usually) that they don’t know what happens when the camera is off. They don’t even know if the person on camera is the same as they are off camera. So, they don’t know better and shouldn’t be telling people they don’t know how to live their lives.

And it followed, to me at least, that I could then meet a celebrity in real life without becoming a fumbling idiot. But, I probably couldn’t.

I remember when I went down to meet Meg Cabot (author of such works as The Princess Diaries and The Mediator series) and I was so nervous. I was so excited to meet her. After her talk, we were able to go up and meet her. I’m not going to lie, I was so excited. I really wanted to talk to her, to let her know that I love writing and want to be a writer too. The girl in line ahead of me (though she didn’t actually talk at all) was about my age and apparently was published at 14. Her mom was going on about how she’d been published, been on TV, how Meg Cabot was a huge inspiration, and on and on. And there I was, the same age loving to write but not having finished anything, let alone published anything at all. And I was still freaking out about whether I should say “hi” or “hey”. It felt kind of like a kick in the stomach. Here was this girl, who was basically like a child writing prodigy and one of the youngest Young Adult others, what was I compared to her?

Anyway, thinking about that event, I realized that I didn’t get all weird and fumbling or excited in the past because I didn’t care about those celebrities. I knew of them. But, that’s about it. I’m not enthralled by their fame. It isn’t even the fame that gets me hyped or not, it is what they are in and what they have done. This point was really sunk in when I found out Sandra Oh was hosting Saturday Night Live. I thought, “oh! I love her”. Christina Yang. I love Christina Yang from Grey’s Anatomy, that is the only work I really know Sandra Oh from and, while she does a great job of portraying her character, that is all I know about her.

So, in the end, my ability to meet celebrities without freaking out has not been because I am cool about it or possess self-control in the presence of fame, but rather that they weren’t celebrities that meant anything to me.

This theory might very well be put to the test on April 5^th, when I see Pink in concert. I don’t have backstage passes or anything, but who knows what will happen. More later.