Post 45: Tragic Backstories

Recently, I was reading through some of my stories and realized I had given all my chacaracters kind-of dark backstories. Usually their parents being dead, cruel, or absent. I wondered why. I still don't really know. Even when they had the perfect parents, which a few characters had a pretty close model of, something else happened to them.

In order to determine why I looked at other characters with a sad back story; ones that I didn't create. 

One character who has a particularly emotional back story is Carl, from Up. His back story is one that, though brief, tells of a life-long love and heartbreaking loss. It inspires tears and sympathy. Something that was proven in class last week, when the short flashback series was played in class and we only got half way through it before several girls in class started crying. 

His back story sets up the plot, why he wants to go to that particular place. It also makes the viewers feel sympathy for him and makes viewers root for him to succeed. Without it, he would just be seen as a bitter old man trying to escape being sent to a retirement home. 

Another character with a sad back story is Neal Caffrey, from White Collar. His back story boils down to an absent-father, who was not as upstanding a citizen as Neal was lead to believe, and a mother who was not particularly supportive, (basically, physically present but emotionally and psychologically absent). Neal runs away when he discovers his dad was a criminal and uses his natural street-smarts to make money, though not always legally. 

His back story sets up a kind of excuse. Growing up with out a father as a role-model and a mother who was only physically preset, it can be said that it was only natural he would turn out the way he did. And since he had always idealized his father as a hero, finding out his father was a criminal, he could have subconsciously thought that, that was his own future as well. 

It also adds an interesting dimension to his relationship with his partner. Perhaps, meant to further establish Peter's role as a father-figure. 

A third character who has a relatively tragic back story is Abbie from Sleepy Hollow. When she was young, she and her sister saw a pretty creepy thing. No one believed them, so she lied and said she didn't see anything. Her sister was committed, because she didn't change her story. And Abbie ended up causing a lot of trouble, juvenile delinquency and dating bad boys kind of things.

Looking at characters with dark back stories, it seems like it  not only sets up why they are the way they are on a psychological level but also can add foreshadowing. 

Abbie has to face that the things she saw were real and try and mend her relationship with her sister. Neal has to deal with his father and decide whether to follow in his father's footsteps or follow the lead of his father-figure, Peter. Carl takes "Ellie" on one final adventure, the one he promised her, and in a way he gets a son/grandson-figure that he had been missing. 

So, maybe that is why I do it. Or maybe, I just find happy back stories dull.

As for why I usually use the parents to create the negative back story, well that is easy, there are very few people who influence your life as much as your parents. Even when they aren't there, it influences you, as it did with Neal. And there is nothing more tragic for a child than losing one or both their parents whether their parents die or are just absent, as is the case in many Disney movies (Bambi, Beauty and the Beast, Snow White, Cinderella, Tarzan, The Lion King, Mulan, Hunchback of Notre Dame, The Little Mermaid, The Princess and the Frog, Atlantis, The Fox and the Hound, etc.)

What other characters do you think have sad back stories? 

Post 44: Friends and Parenting

I'm spoiled. Let's face it, it is true. I may not feel spoiled in my cramped bedroom. But, in the grand scheme of things, I am quite well off. I am in University, and my mom is still letting me live at home. She is even paying my phone bill while I am a full-time student. I pay for University, books and supplies as well, but just because it comes out of my bank account doesn't mean that my parent's money didn't go into my account first.

And, really looking at my Apple products alone in it is hard to claim I am anything but spoiled.

iPhone? Check. iPad? Check. iPod touch? Check. iPod Classic? Check. iPod shuffle? Double check.

True, I did buy one shuffle, and win the other. I did buy my iPod classic, but only as a replacement to one I was given. And all of that was with money I earned while working. However, the rest? They were Christmas or Birthday gifts.

But that being said, I don't think that I am spoiled rotten.

Though, I think I know some people who are. I say "I think", because I am not omniscient. I do not know all the sides to the story. I do not know everything that goes on in their lives, but from what I do know it does not paint a pleasing picture.

 (I am about to go off on a little tangent, it will come back around to something that makes sense in the end though, I assure you.)

Before I get too far into talking about people who have been spoiled kind of rotten, I want to talk a little bit about how sad it is when friends change. The friend I am going to use for the example, who isn't really a friend anymore, is a good example of friends that change dramatically, as well.

She used to be a tomboy. It was shocking if she wore a skirt. She isn't one anymore. Which would be fine, but it seems like the entire time she was acting like tomboy, it wasn't because that was who she was or what she liked, but rather that she didn't feel like she was pretty enough not to be a tomboy. I mean, she used to not really like having her picture taken. She was really shy, as well. Now she is not shy, and she loves having her picture taken. It wasn't just her looks that changed. It was her attitude. She seems almost stuck-up now. She just isn't the same person that I became friends with. And I could probably be friends with who she is now, but part of me is having trouble accepting such a drastic change. I am having trouble reconciling that the person I knew before and the person she is now are one and the same.

Anyway, she has also been acting kind of spoiled lately. For example, she recently bought a puppy and brought it home. Not bad in and of itself, unless you taken in to consideration that her dad said no. He has also ended up feeding it, cleaning up after, and taking care of it, even though he said no pets. Oh, yes, and did I mention that when he yelled at her for bringing it home, she yelled at him? She yelled at him! She is living in the house off of him, and she went against what he told her, and she was yelling at him. And apparently, cursing at him and insulting him as well.

I have another example, I can't talk too much about because it was a long while ago andI had even forgotten about it until I was reading a blog I had kept years ago. 

Basically, there is a guy and he has practice for a sport he is in from like 6 until 9 p.m. His mom orders dinner for him. There is an issue with her card, but her phone is dead and she doesn't know that the food wasn't ordered. He freaks out. Calls everyone they know. Then when the mom gets home and finds out what happened, she gets yelled at and accused of being a bad parent by her kid. 

Which is kind of ridiculous because there is always food in their house. Always. And to be totally honest, I don't think I have ever been to anyone's house and found that they actually had nothing to eat. It wasn't like he was going to starve. He just didn't want to cook. 

And since the mom didn't even know, and had no way of knowing, what was wrong- it wasn't her fault. Not to mention, even if it was, kids should not yell at their parents. 

My mom and I get into fights, yes. I talk back, more than I should, but I have only ever actually yelled at her once, as far as I can recall. And it was when she implied some things about some of my friends that were neither kind nor true. Though, perhaps they were not all that far from the truth, seeing how things have unfolded as time went on. 

It didn't go over well. And even then, I neither cursed at her or called her names.

Anyway, I feel like I haven't really gotten to where I wanted to with this post. But it is starting to get on the longer side, and I stopped and started again after some time had passed and I don't really remember where it is that I wanted to go. 

So, I think I will end it here. 

Do you know anyone that is spoiled rotten?

What do you think it means to be spoiled?

Post 43: Sympathetic Bad Guys and Evil-doers

Recently, I was confronted by a major twist in a TV show I watch. Without revealing too many spoilers I want to share what happened.

Basically there is what is seen as one of the worst serial killers in the city of Santa Barbara. The killer is called Mr. Yang. He kidnaps and then kills young women and he teases the police along the way with clues, hinting that if they figure it out in time the person won't die. This character reappears in three episodes. 

The first episode she and the main character go head to head, the killer kidnaps his mother. But in the end they catch her. Yeah, it turns out to be a her. But she goes to jail. In the second episode, Mr. Ying first appears and kidnaps his girlfriend and a woman he works with who he is in love with. He tries to make him choose which one will live and which will die. They consult with Mr. Yang to try and catch him. They don't catch him but no one dies.

The third episode Mr. Ying is back. And this is where the big twist hits. Mr. Ying was the killer all along. Mr. Yang, she kidnapped people and she sent clues to the police but she never actually killed anyone. 

She was also Mr. Ying's daughter and prodigy. He was a horrible psychologically and physically abusive father that tried to train her to assist him in the murders. But in her own crazy way she cared about the main character and in the end her first kill was her father, to save the main character.

She is hated by so many as a killer. She was locked in a cell. She was treated horribly.

And in the end the main character asks her why she didn't say anything, perhaps not that it was her dad because as crazy as she is and as mean as he was he was still her dad, but why she didn't say that it wasn't her. She said that she was just as responsible, because she knew and didn't

stop him. 

And this got me thinking about other bad guys, or rather "bad guys", and I started to wonder if perhaps there were others that were labelled harsher than others. 

The first two that came to mind are not from crime shows or movies that, I guess, would be typically suspected but from Disney. The first is Gaston From Beauty and the Beast. The second is Stevie from Wizards of Waverley Place.

Gaston is a jerk, don't get me wrong. But did he deserve to die? Did he deserve to be branded the villain? 

Let us take a look at the story, not from Belle's perspective but Gaston's.

The first time he hears about the beast it is from Maurice. Maurice says Belle has been kidnapped by a monster, a vicious monster. Then he hears about the Beast again from Belle, and she shows him the mirror. In the mirror Beast is growling  or possibly groaning but it looks like growling, and is rather frightening. And considering the fact Belle herself was both horrified and frightened by the Beast's appearance, they probably felt the same. And her saying he was kind and gentile, could have just been Stockholm Syndrome, not that Gaston would know the term. But still, really, as far as he knows at this point there is a beast who looks scary and kidnapped Belle and kept her in a castle for quite awhile.  

As the typical stereo-type hunter guy/epic hero, he goes off to kill the Beast. While, yes, some of it is clearly out of jealousy, it is possible that there was more to it than just that. 

And if you think about it, Belle might have a small amount of Stockholm going on. I mean, he locked her in her room. He refused to give her food unless she did what he wanted her too. He yelled at her a lot. The main thing he did for her to label him as nice in the beginning is stopping her from dying. When that wasn't even his main goal. He left to drag her back, and saved her partially so he could do so and partially cause he wasn't going to watch her be killed after finding her. 

After that, they start to be 'friends' based on the fact that he stopped screaming at her and he wasn't as scary as before. Then, he gives her use of his library. And she acts like it is a grand gesture. He doesn't even know how to read anymore or use the library, she already has free reign of the house anyway, and she is still being held prisoner. And considering she thinks that he and the animate-inanimate objects are the only "people" she will ever talk with, it makes sense she would form attachments to them. 

Also, as far as locking Maurice up. It was kind of justified. Maurice's inventions are dangerous. They involve axes and throwing things. They also have a tendency to explode. All things that could cause himself or someone else harm. And he does seem absolutely crazy when talking about a beast, so the fact that he hasn't been locked up yet seems like a minor miracle.

So, while Gaston did not have always have the best intentions, I don't think he really deserved to die.

Next, I want to look at Stevie. Who technically died in the series with little to no remorse. (Alex turned her into a statue, Max broke the statue.)

She was labelled as evil because she didn't want to give up her powers. Which makes sense, no one does. 

But she had plan to break the machine things that took the powers of wizards to give them only to one. Let me further explain for those who haven't seen the show.

Basically, how it works is that in a wizard family only one member of each generation gets the full family powers. If you are an only child, you get them. If you have siblings, you have to compete for them. 

If you lose, you not only don't get more power, you lose the power you have.

Stevie wanted to change this because her brother was more studious, and had won the competition. She didn't want to take anyone's powers away. She didn't want to hurt anyone, in fact this really would have benefited more people than anything else. But it was against the rules and against tradition. So, she was brand as evil.

Alex stops her. Everyone is happy. Max breaks the statue. And everyone laughs. Like they didn't just technically kill someone. 

Stevie was always a kind of "bad girl" character, so she would fit next to Alex who had a similar image. But in some ways she actually proved nicer. In an earlier episode, she helped Justin get elected. Then, in another episode when they planned on tricking Alex's brother, Stevie pulled the plug on the prank because she didn't want to cause a fight between the two siblings that would keep them apart.

Maybe she wasn't really killed, but I don't think she was really evil either. Especially not compared to some of the other bad guys they had on the show that were looking to cause people harm.

Any other bad guys or villains that you think didn't deserve that title? That didn't deserve to die?

Post 42: Enemies and Hate

This post is much lighter than the title would suggest, I promise. You see, I don't want to talk about hate, as in the intense, passionate hatred, but the 'hate' that people use to describe anything they don't really like.

Both 'hate' and 'love', are words I think are widely overused. Not in the same way as "YOLO", though. If you haven't heard of YOLO, count yourself lucky. I won't explain it here. I might make a post about it at a later date, because it is something I think I would enjoy ranting about. But if you have, you might understand what I mean. 

'Hate' and 'love' however, are words that people throw out there as if they didn't have any real, or deep, meaning behind them. 

"I hate Mondays", "I hate bananas", and "I hate being bored". No, that feeling isn't hatred. It it is dislike.  You dislike Mondays, you dislike bananas and you dislike being bored. What bugs me about it the most is one particular case where people "hate", the 'just don't want to' hate. 

This comes up with "I hate bananas", when the person has never tried one in their life. I, myself, am guilty of this when I was younger with peanut butter. I used to say that I hated it. But I didn't hate it. I could eat it, I liked certain things that had it, and it wasn't like it made me sick or anything. I just didn't like it. But, when someone offered me a peanut butter sandwich, I would still say, "Ew, no. I hate peanut butter." I don't anymore, and haven't for a while. 

This also comes up with "I hate being bored". Which really means, "I don't want to be bored." If they truly hated being bored, they would do something about it instead of just complaining about being bored. 

Anyway, this all comes up because I saw talk on Facebook about how much this girl hates someone, even calls them her enemy. 

I didn't know that people had enemies outside of works of fiction. But, she went on and on about this girl, anyway. And a lot of what she accused her of doing, were things that she did herself. 

For the sake of clarity, let us call the girl who posted Beth, and the person she was ranting about Mary. 

Beth called Mary fake, because Mary used to like Twilight and now Mary is acting like Twilight sucks because everyone else is. I happen to know for a fact that Beth used to have a giant Twilight poster in her room, not ironically and not to use as a dart board. Beth called Mary a s***, because she said Mary lost her virginity really young and has had sex with multiple guys. Well, I got a text from Beth the day after she lost her virginity when she was 13. And I happen to know, she has slept with people since then. 

This went on for awhile, and because Facebook is the place for drama and is often times like a live soap opera, I kept reading. Then I put on my "I've taken an Intro to Psychology class" hat and started thinking about why she was so upset with this girl. 

At first, I was really worried. I was thinking, what if she hates this girl for having all the same negative qualities as herself, because really she hates herself? Because she was my friend, I started looking through her posts to see if they had become more depressing lately and I sent her a message to see if she was alright. 

But, while going through her posts, I noticed that Mary and Beth had gotten into a fight before. They had called each other names, enemies, said they hated each other, and then made up. In fact, they had done it several times before. 

So, after a few days, I signed in to Facebook and Beth updated her status as going to Jamba Juice, with Mary. 

Which proves three things nothing on Facebook should be taken seriously, enemies belong in fiction, and maybe we need to rethink what words we use. Hate seems like a really strong word to use for a friend you are just fighting with. And things worked out as well as they could for Mary and Beth, but what if Mary had taken hate to mean something more than just dislike (or as the case was, unhappiness or current disapproval), what if she took it to mean real hatred? What if she thought they really were enemies? 

It could have ruined their friendship. 

Though, it doesn't seem all that strong anyway. But, my point is, that we overuse the word hate. It rolls of the tongue better than dislike but, at least for me, it really means something much darker and deeper. And it should not be used as synonymous. 

What do you think? 

Is there anything that you hate? How about things you "hate"?

Post 41: FML and Marriage Proposals

I recently got a new app called FML. For those who don't know what it is, it is basically an app form of the social website where people post something bad that happened to them that day. Usually they are short, Tweet-size, so like 50 words. People then vote on whether or not the person who posted really does have some bad luck going their way, or if it was their fault.

For example, a highly rated, "I agree, your life sucks" post was:

"Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation." 

An example of a highly rated, "You deserved it" post was:

"Today, I was at the mall shoplifting when a girl who looked my age pointed to a shirt I had in my bag. "Stole that, huh?" she asked smiling. She looked pretty cool, so I nodded and asked if she stole the jeans she was wearing, which were from the store. Turns out she didn't, she's the store manager."

So, you can kind of get the idea of which ends up where. Self-pity, karma and people having to deal with the consequences of the stupid things they've done end up in the YDI (you deserved it) side. While, things that involve people being screwed over by fate or someone else end up in the YLS (your life sucks) side. 

Sometimes, they are pretty funny. Sometimes, they are sad. And more often than you might suspect, I question whether they aren't made up. Like ones dealing with partners having an affair. 

I don't know about you, but that is not something I am going to share on a site like this. I mean, one of the highest rated YLS posts is about a woman who was dropped off at work and received a text five minutes later saying, "I just dropped the b**** off at work, I'll be there in a few minutes baby, miss you." And later in the text conversation indicated he thought that he was texting someone else. So, after being insulted and finding out her husband had an affair, would she on that same day sign into a website to post about it?

Anyway, one of the posts I cam across recently was a guy that was upset. He asked his girlfriend's father to marry him and his potential, future father-in-law told him no. And called him a sexist idiot for asking. This is one that I like, not because of the post but because the conversation in the comments is usually interesting. 

Which it was. 

Some people agreed, they said that asking the father dates back to when daughters were seen as property and they needed their father's permission. Some even said it amounted to little more than a business transaction. Which I can see merit for. 

On the other hand, some people (mostly girls) argued that it was the most romantic thing a guy could do. And claimed it was a great way to include the family and show them respect. I can see this side as well. 

But these points got me thinking, is it really either?

Permission, in most cultures, is no longer needed. So it isn't sexist, he didn't mean it that way. He was just doing something that is still seen by some as tradition. But the tradition itself seems kind of hollow and pointless. 

If he says no, then what? Does the guy no longer ask his girlfriend to marry him? What if the daughter finds out? Won't that cause a lot of tension and ill-feelings between the father and daughter? What if he asks anyway, and they get married? Won't that pretty much ensure that the he and his father-in-law never have a good relationship?

It puts the father in an awkward position. He has all these things to think about if he says no. Plus, he is thinking about his daughter's happiness as well. 

So, what if he doesn't like the guy but with all these things in mind, says yes anyway? And then the boyfriend chickens out and doesn't ask? Or the daughter says no? 

And if he only approved to avoid potentially negative consequences not because he actually wanted them to get married, doesn't it seem like it was pointless to ask? And what if the boyfriend was going to ask anyway, doesn't that make it even more pointless?

Also, for the FML, after asking permission and the father saying no, if he doesn't ask does that mean that he is listening to the father and, therefore, further establishing that he needs permission because the father does control who the daughter marries?

Anyway, that is just what I thought. I don't think that it is sexist unless it was meant to be. Like if the boyfriend really thought that it was within the father's power to give his daughter to him. But, my guess is, he was just trying to be polite. I don't really think it is all that romantic, either. So, I remain on the fence about it. 

What do you think?