Post 90: I swear, I'm just a writer.

Well, not just a writer. But there are certainly a number of things that I am not. Like a killer, or a terrorist, or a suicidal teenager, or a criminal, or any other thing that may seem shady or criminal.

One thing that is important for writers is research. It is easy to write a day-in-the-life piece, but a lot of stories require research. If the main character goes to France, the writer is going to need to know a little bit about France. If they are writing about an international super spy who is planning to use some sort of listening device in a government building, they might need to look up information about available listening devices (or bugs) and might even be looking up blue prints of those buildings.

I've looked up how blood spatter works, how long someone can survive without oxygen, ambulance response times in particular areas, how many cemeteries are in particular places, as well as the reaction the body has to different types of drug use. Not things that seem normal coming up in search histories.

I've talked to other up-and-coming writers  who have even gotten into trouble for it. One was doing gun and bomb assembly research for a story, a teacher saw what they were looking up and they were suspended for three days and had to talk to the counselor.

I haven't had that happen, but I've certainly raised some eyebrows.

That's all for this post. Sorry it is a shorter post, but I'm pretty busy preparing for my finals.

Post 89: Tim Horton's vs. Starbucks

I seriously considered putting this post on my reviews and views blog, but then I realized that it would probably be a bad idea. I am upset with Tim Horton's right now,  so my judgement and writing will be more than a little biased.

Why am I upset with Tim Horton's? Pretty crumby customer service. It is always pretty bad, but today was especially so.

Every Monday I carpool to campus with my mother. My mother only drinks decaf. On days we carpool, I get coffee for her at Tim Horton's. She always gets the same thing. Always. So, do I.

Our order is as follows:

Large Decaf Coffee
Turkey Sausage English Muffin
Medium French Vanilla
Everything Bagel with Cream Cheese

Now, it annoys me a little that even though every Monday I order the same thing. And every time they see me, recognize me, but never have decaf ready. Now this only annoys me because back when I went Starbucks all the time they knew my order and had it ready by the time I went to pay. Shirley's Bagels in California knew when my mom and I walked through the door what we wanted. They recognized us, knew we always ordered the same thing and so were prepared.

Tim Horton's doesn't do that. Which would be fine, if not for the other elements. It was just one more strand of hay on the pile.

Another thing that annoys me is how slow they are. And they walk away mid-order, which not only seems inefficient but also rude.  I will say, "decaf coffee" then they walk off. I get that they have to get it started, but it seems like it would be faster (or at least seem faster to the customer) if they took the complete order first.

That's how they do it at Starbucks, anyway.

Then she comes back and asks if I want anything else, I say, "Turkey Sausage English Muffin". She wanders off. She doesn't actually make the sandwich, but she still wanders off. Then she comes back and says, "okay that will be $0.00". She didn't let me finish ordering before walking off, so I say "and a medium french vanilla" and guess who wanders off, again! She comes back and once again she tells me the price and points to the debit machine and when I start to say bagel she gives me a nasty look, like why didn't I tell her before?

Anyway, that is the typical morning routine.

Today, was even worse. I got to the counter said decaf and she let out a huge HUFF, then she snapped at me! She said (in a very rude tone), "We don't have any decaf. We will have to make some (like I didn't know that would happen, like that doesn't happen EVERY morning). You should have checked to see if we had any and told us we were out before, now you have to wait (like it is my job to tell them their inventory)." And if she had calmly and POLITELY told me that next time it would be easier if I told them what I was going to order before I got in line, I wouldn't need to wait after- I would have taken that. But her attitude was so offensive.

And I actually have tried to talk to them before, after not receiving my coffee - it took several minutes to get anyone's attention and they brushed me off SEVERAL times before I could get someone's attention long enough to tell them. And the first thing they said was, "you need to wait in line". She was walking away when I managed to catch her to tell her I had gotten my coffee, she went to the cashier and the cashier just brushed her off and said "she didn't order that". But, I did between the turkey sausage breakfast sandwich and the bagel, and she heard both of those - she even wandered off after I ordered it, like she normally does. She then said, "well, I didn't charge you for it, so if you want it you'll have to get back in line".

So, you know, I don't know how telling them I'm going to order decaf would go, would it be faster or just more frustrating?

Anyway after she snapped at me that I should have told them before, what usually only took 5 minutes took almost 20 minutes! She didn't start the decaf coffee for 15 minutes after I ordered. If I hadn't been early or if I only had a 15 minute window to get to class, I would have been late for class. Or, more likely, I would have just had to leave and not gotten my mom's coffee.

And one of the main reason's I have been fetching my coffee is because she injured herself recently, and was even on crutches for awhile.

I have never had the same issue with Starbucks. They're always polite. They never give attitude.

Tim Horton's might be cheaper, but if I had a choice I think I would rather pay the dollar or so more to not deal with rudeness before I've had caffeine.

Post 88: How To: Pull an All-Nighter

Not another series, are you serious?! Yes, another series: a How To series. Series are important because there is always something to do. Just coming up with random unconnected posts can be difficult. The first post in my How To series is going to be a How To : pull an All-Nighter.

Disclaimer: I am not recommending you pull an all-nighter. Sleep deprivation can have seriously negative effects, including hallucinations, headaches, fatigue (obviously), etc. Sleep deprivation over 48 hours can even lead to death. 

So, with that said let's begin the late-nighter tutorial.

Step 1: Look at why you are going to pull an all-nighter.

• Are you going to be writing and essay/studying?
• Be prepared to take short breaks, too much studying and your mind might go into sleep mode before the rest of you does. 
• Are you going to be watching TV shows?
• Pick one that holds your attention and doesn't put you to sleep. It needs to be fast-paced and interesting, save the intellectual ones for the day lights hours, because it becomes harder to focus on them the later it gets and the more tired you become.
• Are you going to be playing video games? 
• Pick one that keeps you engaged. I would seriously caution you against trying to pull a Wii Mario Kart or Candy Crush all-nighter. 
• Are you going to be staying up for no apparent reason?
• Take a moment to think about why you are doing this to yourself in the first place. Did you not read my warning that sleep deprivation can lead to death?

Step 2: You need sustenance.

• Are you going to be writing an essay/studying?
• You are looking at finger food, my friend. Chips, M&Ms, popcorn, etc. Things that are easy to eat while typing, but not sticky or messy. It is hard to eat pasta or soup when you got to keep typing or you have to hold a book. Sugary substances are good as energizing bites. 
• Are you going to be watching TV shows?
• Popcorn is a classic movie/TV show watching snack. But, because it doesn't require hands more things are made possible. You don't want to eat anything too filling or all at once though. Big or filling meals/snacks will only make you sleepy. You are shooting for little bits over time to keep the energy flowing. 
• Are you going to be playing video games? 
• I'd say look back at studying/essay writing. You're still on the computer or holding something in your hands, so you need food you don't have to use silverware for that isn't really messy. 
• Are you going to be staying up for no apparent reason?
• You're a crazy person and the world is your oyster. Eat whatever you want. 

Step 3: You got your food, know let's talk drinks. 

• Are you going to be writing and essay/studying?
• I would recommend coffee or tea. They have caffeine to keep you awake, but don't have the sugar energy drinks have that can make some people a little nutty. The saner you are when writing that essay, the better. 
• Are you going to be watching TV shows?
• Energy drinks are what I would recommend. Mostly, because slow parts in TV shows or movies can be times where I start to doze and the coldness of energy drinks is a real pick me up. Also things just seem to be more interesting when you're on a sugar high. 
• Are you going to be playing video games? 
• I would recommend energy drinks or soda. They both have caffeine, and unlike coffee and tea, you are less likely to spill them. I say this because I tend to spill hot things. Also, coffee and tea are more calmly sipping over time. That doesn't really match with the video game mode. 
• Are you going to be staying up for no apparent reason?
• Pickle juice and soy sauce. Nothing is quite as invigorating as a shot of one of these. I recommend alternating every hour. 

Step 4: Still starting to doze?

This applies no matter why you are staying up, keep some things in mind that keep you awake. I have, in the past, gone to take a shower as a way to stay awake. What you do then is stay under warm water for five to ten minutes, then switch to ice cold. You'll feel plenty invigorated after being hit with that ice wave. 

Other things you can do are exercising. Stop what you are doing run up and down the stairs a few times. Do twenty jumping jacks. This will get your blood pumping and will help kick up your adrenaline levels. 

A good slap can help too, but really that is probably something you should only use as a worst case scenario solution. 

And there you go, that is everything I know about pulling an all-nighter. 

Post 87: Ghosts, Pranksters or Chance?

I think my house might be haunted. I don't really believe in ghosts. And even if I did it isn't like anything really happened here that would inspire a ghost (so far as I know). But, I still think the house might be haunted. Too many weird, little things have happened for me not to suspect something is up.

For example, my computer was unplugged the other day. Now, I don't have a lap top. I have a desktop. A big, hunk of plastic and electricity securely located under my desk. In order to unplug it someone (or something) would have had to crawl under my desk and unplugged it. And it wasn't even unplugged from the wall, that would have made more sense because then I could have just kicked it. But it wasn't. The cord had been unplugged from the back of my computer.

And my tiny TV had been unplugged a few weeks before that.

Also, things disappear in my room a lot. Even when it is clean and organized things seem to just disappear. Then, magically reappear. I lost a pair of headphones and spent WEEKS looking for them. Then one day I come into my room, open my desk drawer and there they are. I looked there before, but suddenly they've once again appeared.

Which is spooky. And I can be a klutz. And a spazz. And a dork. But, I know that I looked there MULTIPLE times and they weren't there.

But, being practical for a moment I realize I should look at other possibilities besides ghosts.

A) Pranksters. But who would they be?

While some of my friends CAN get into my house they don't when I'm not here. So, that rules them out.

My mom wouldn't have done it. Or rather, couldn't have because my room was in a complete state of disarray after days of tearing my room apart looking for my headphones and there was no way she would have let that go.

My step-dad wouldn't have done. Or rather, I see no reason that he would have. It would be kind of silly and pointless. Also, my guess is he would have reported the state of my room to my mom, so we go back to the previous point.

I don't know why my step-siblings would do it either. (And one isn't currently living here, which makes it even harder to believe it would be them.)

There is also a cleaning lady who comes to the house once every other week. But she doesn't go in my room. I am a control freak about my room. And she only vaccuums anyway and most of the time I don't want to bother prepping it when I can just clean it myself. And she rearranged my furniture once, so I'm not entirely sure how much I trust her in that respect. But none of the things that happened, happened on a Monday (the day she comes by), so it couldn't be her.

And those are the only people who have access to the house. So far as I know. Maybe this is like an episode of CSI where there was a guy living in the attic. And he needed to borrow headphones.

B) Chance

It is not entirely out of the realm of possibility that they were in my drawer the whole time. I would like to think that they were, but maybe they weren't. Also, while the cord coming out of the back of my computer seems ridiculous, maybe I did happen to knock it just the right way. Maybe it was our cleaning lady that unplugged my TV. It isn't like I use it often, so maybe it just took me awhile to notice.

Maybe a lot of things happened.

Or maybe it is ghosts. Or a ghost.

I don't know. But I do know that if I get mysteriously "pushed" down a flight of stairs, start hearing voices, or any of the more frightening and violent aspects of a haunting, I'm not going to do what those idiots in horror movies do - I am just going to move.

Post 86: Pet Peeves Series - Road Blocks

It has been awhile since I've contributed to my Pet Peeves Series, so I figured I should add a little something new. Today,  we were going to talk about one of the most hypocritical pet peeves. I say hypocritical because I know a lot of people who complain about this, who do it themselves. Even I cannot in with an entirely clear conscience claim I have never done this. What is "this"?


Being a road block.


There are multiple types of road blockers. The most common is the person who, while walking down the hallway, stops suddenly right in front of someone else. That person is forced to choose between a collision and stopping abruptly themselves. And, unless this leads to some sort of freak pedestrian pile-up, it doesn't lead to harm. However, it is extremely annoying.


The next type of road block is the group road block. They are the group of friends that walks side-by-side just close enough you can't cut through them easily, but just far enough to take up the entire hallway. Sometimes, if you say 'excuse me' they will let you through. Some groups, however, just ignore you.


The third type is going back towards the first more and is a stationary road block. This is group that stops suddenly or congregates in the hallway making it hard for anyone to get through. I have, on an occasion or two, been part of one of these groups.


 As you can probably imagine, all three can induce frustration when in encounter. But, as I also said, most people find themselves doing it at one time or another. Maybe not intentionally, but when they realize they left their phone somewhere and stop to look for it. Or they're trying to have a conversation with a few friends and don't want to walk behind them and not be heard. Or they start as a group of one or two (therefore, not a substantial block) and friends just happen to join them to create a block.


So, this should just be taken as a sort of PSA (public service announcement) that you should be aware of these things. Walk out of people's way before stopping to look for your phone or, at least, just try and stay aware as to who and what is around you.

Post 85: WYCLF - Gilmore Girls

There are a lot of claims that you can't learn anything from watching TV. I would like to declare this a lie. There are a lot of things you can learn from TV shows. So, I've decided to start up a second series (the first being my pet peeve series) to prove that this is true. For my first post of the series, I want to talk about what I learned from Gilmore Girls.

Gilmore Girls is a show from 2000-2007. The show is about two female characters, a mother (Lorelai) and daughter (Rory). The mother got pregnant at 16 and raised her daughter alone. The daughter is a smart, book-worm with only a few close friends.

While the show has a variety of different lessons about hard work, relationships (family and significant others), and pop culture, I have picked only one small example to talk about.

One day the daughter and her best friend were talking about what gift Rory should get for her boyfriend. Rory picked out a book that she really liked. Her best friend, Lane, pointed out that was probably not the best gift idea. Her boyfriend was very athletic and sweet, but not much of a reader.

Lane points out that while Rory may think it is a good gift, and while she would appreciate the gift if someone gave it to her, her boyfriend might not think of it the same way. Lane brings up an important idea about gift giving, it isn't just about how you see the gift but about how the other person will see the gift.

She uses the story about how she once gave perfume to her strictly religious mother, and how she meant well but her mother took it almost as an insult. She then explains to Rory that her giving her boyfriend a book would be the equivalent of him giving her a football.

I think this is an important lesson because it is something that can be overlooked sometimes. While, obviously, giving a gift to a loved one is meant as a sweet gesture it can cause problems as well.

Real-life Example:

My mother and I are very different in certain respects. For one, she is much more practical. This can lead to issues when it comes time to exchange gifts.

Recently, a friend and I were exploring the Kiersey website looking at the 16 personalities defined by Myers-Briggs. I am an Idealist, which is one of the four branches of personalities. Idealists value personalized gifts and gifts that reflect an understanding of them. Meaning they would rather receive a T-shirt with their favorite band on it than a Visa gift card of the same value. Because the band shirt shows that the giver knew something about them and put thought into the gift.

My mother is a Rational. Now it didn't specifically list what gifts rationales like, but I can tell you her practicality trails into her gift giving. For Christmas, I get socks and pajamas every year. I have gotten vitamins. I have gotten lotion. Mostly practical things that don't really reflect anything about me, but are useful all the same.

So, as you may have guessed, when we try and give each other gifts we often butt heads. I go for gifts that are more touchy-feely, while she gets me useful things. Now, don't get me wrong, I like getting socks. It does kind of reflect me because I am incapable of keeping pairs together. However, if they had cats on them it might warm the Idealist part of my brain.

One of the biggest problems though isn't how the other person feels, but how their reaction can cause problems. You never want to tell the person you got a gift for that you didn't like the gift. But, sometimes, you don't have to.

My mom has been stressed recently. So, I thought I would get her something to cheer her up. I got her a Game of Thrones shot glass. She is EXTREMELY obsessed with that show right now, so I thought she would like it. She doesn't really do shots, but I figured that it could have other uses. I even got the house (Stark) that she likes. I even filled it with peanut M&Ms and left it on her desk for her.

I don't remember if she thanked me, but I do remember her first comment was about how inconvenient it was because of her diet (which we were both only loosely sticking to at the time). She also made a comment about the fact it was a shot glass. I don't remember what it was exactly, but it went to the impracticality of it.

It hurt a little bit. I had tried to do something nice and felt like I had been brushed off. But, watching this episode made me realize that it was kind of my fault. I didn't think about how she would see the gift.

It is something people forget sometimes when buying gifts, so it is an important lesson that may seem self-evident but does need to be pointed out sometimes.

(WYLF - What You Can Learn From)

Vij's Restaurant

That's right, I'm doing a restaurant. A relatively well-known and pretty highly rated Indian Restaurant, called Vij's. My plan for this review is do more than just provide brief commentary on the food. I am going to catalogue the whole experience, starting from when I first arrived to the moment I walk out the door.

(HEADS UP: I tried to get pictures of all the dishes, but my fellow dinners go a little impatient and chowed down before I could get most of the pictures.)

The Beginning: 

4:22pm:

I am walking up to Vij's. Way to early to actually eat but they don't take reservations and people start lining up at 4:30. By 5 it is going to be chaos. So, I'm there early. 

The first thing I see is the outside. Obviously. The attached restaurant (same owner but not as highly rated and different in style) is busy and loud. It is sunny out so the patio is pretty full. 

When I get to Vij's patio, I sit on one of the small stools around one of the two small water features. They are pretty. The elephant on each side of the concrete is a little odd but the roses are beautiful. 

Then I notice a fish. There are lots of fish in the water but there is one on top and in center. I think it's dead. It's twitching though. So I'm not sure. 

I move the roses aside. It is, in fact, dead. I'm not Sherlock Holmes but from the looks of it, he got run over by a rose and it pushed him sort of up and onto the light. The sun, the air or just plain fear at not being able to move got him from there. 

Thinking about how if I owned a restaurant, I definitely would not want a dead fish to be the first thing my customers would see. Unless it was a beautifully prepared fish on a plate.

I poked my head in the doorway and when someone came by I let them know. She let out a small chuckle. Not so much because the fish was dead, I think, so much as that I had told her. But whatever. 

5:00pm: 

There is almost no one here. This is so weird! Last time we came here we got here at 5p.m. and didn't make it in the door because there were already too many people here. Today there are 3 groups of two. Where is everyone?

Well, I guess it is Thursday. Not a major date night. Last time was a Friday night. 

The waitress just brought out a drink menu to ask if we'd like anything to drink. I said no. 

Some time has passed and with it, it has brought more people. There are now almost 10 more people. 

There should be more seats, I think. Or remove the grey, plastic stools and put in concrete benches. It would probably fit more people and they wouldn't have to worry about people breaking the stools or taking them. Not that I suspect that happens often. 

People are sitting on the water features and it doesn't seem comfortable. There are also people standing. There aren't that many people here yet either.

5:20pm:

The other people I am dining with finally arrive.

5:30pm:

We are seated first and shortly after things start circulating.

First there are fries. They're okay. Mostly they taste like your average fries with a little bit of chili powder. There was also pakora, which is fabulous. There is also a chutney and mung beans thing on  a cracker. I don't know what it is, but its good.

Everyone gets Chai tea. It is very good. Not too sweet and nice and warm. I order pear juice, which is good but a little sweet on its own.

5:45pm:

We order a few dishes and appetizers to get a taste for everything.

6:22pm:

Appetizers arive.

Acorn Squash and Beets: A little too sweet for me, but  not  bad. 6/10
Chick Peas with Ricotta and Sweet Potato Cookies: Amazing! At least, the cookies were. The curry was also quite good. 9/10
Samosas: Not bad, not a major lamb fan but it wasn't overwhelming. Good crunch, not too greasy. 7/10

6:51pm:

Dinner arrives.

Pork Tenderloin: Good. Charred very nicely. Even none pork fan in the group really liked it. 8/10
Lamb Popsicle: I didn't try these myself, not a lamb fan as I said. However, the lamb eaters in the group liked it. And the curry it was on top of was good on its own. 8/10
Koftes: Very good as well. Crispy not greasy and very flavorful. 9/10
Chicken: Good. Tomatoes were a nice touch and I'm a big fan of green onions in dishes.

The Chicken and Kofte curries were relatively similar. As were the Pork and Lamb curries, while the pork curry had a stronger lemon flavor and spinach.

7:20pm:

Paid the bill.

Overall: They paid good attention to allergies. Went to the chef and made sure things were safe for everyone in the group. They also had very good service.

Total: 9/10

Post 84: Writing Romance

I have trouble writing romance. That's a lie, but a true lie. Oxymoron, anyone? How about another? Love is the simplest complication to a lot of writers. Why? Because love is ill-defined. There are a lot of conflicting definitions and different types of love.

So, how is it a both true and false that I have trouble writing romance? The same way English and Philosophy are both easy and hard classes. Anyone can just get by and pass in an English or Philosophy class, as long as they do a basic amount of work. However, actually doing well, understanding the material, and learning from the experience takes work.

Anyone can write a pseudo-romantic scene. Just off the top of my head, I get:

Donna glanced over at the back of his chair. They had been working together for years but he never returned her gaze. She had fallen hard for him from their first meeting when he lent her his pen. She had been frantically digging through her purse in distress looking for one, and he had been her white knight saving her from humiliation. She admired him secretly from that moment on and the more she watched him, the more she knew she loved him. 

Now, that isn't bad for an 'off the top of my head' bit. However, it isn't likely to win any writing awards. It was easy to write, but let's face it - it isn't particularly genuine either.

Like I said, it is easy to spit out some romantic, cheesy garbage but writing something that is real, something that makes the reader feel what the characters feel that takes work.

I struggle with the 'real' element. Love is so complex. I keep trying to understand it better, through real-life phenomenon and through literature and media. But, I am still left with gaps. I am still left with unanswered questions.

In media and literature, in particular, love seems to come in four main tropes: opposites attract, friendship into love, love at first sight, or subverted expectations. The last usually happens in love-hate relationships, where the two hate each other in the beginning but then one or the other finds some small factoid about the other and suddenly their entire outlook on that person changes (i.e. ).

I already wrote a post about opposites attracting and why it isn't actually accurate. So, I will briefly talk about the others.

First, about subverting expectations.

In a recent story I read, the girl hated the guy and thought he was annoying until she found he liked bunnies. Then, suddenly he is no longer an annoying jerk, but a lovable dork. He lied to her. He deceived and manipulated her, but it was all excused. Why? Bunnies.In Quest for Camelot, they start off fighting and kind of hating each other, they find out he knew her father and suddenly it's a love story and they're singing a ballad about how their "hearts are one".

In (Disney's) Beauty and the Beast, she expected him to be a monster, but as soon as he shows the slightest bit of humanity she is suddenly ready to fall in love with him. He kidnapped her father. He kidnapped her. He refused to give her food. He threatened her. When she ran away he went to go drag her back, but none of that matters because, in the end, he didn't just let her die. She went back to save him and he still didn't let her be free after SHE SAVED HIM, his attitude didn't really improve, but he is suddenly a better person to her.

And the whole, 'friendship into love' is one I have issues with as well. I briefly cover this in my post on the friendzone. But my main issue is that the other friend always seems to come to an epiphany that they love the friend that is in love with them. It is like most of these stories have the two in love with each other from the start, one friend is in just in such deep denial that it isn't until they almost lose the other person that they realize it. This one seems to go hand-in-hand with the "When Harry Met Sally" men and women can't be friends idea. I just watched a movie that was sort of Cinderella-inspired, where there was a guy and girl best friend. At a party, she meets a "Prince Charming" type who is really nice to her and compassionate and then suddenly 75% of the way into the movie, he becomes a jerk so that she can break up with him and go confess to her best friend who happens to be in love with her too. 

Love at first sight, well, I don't think it exists. At least, not as love. Love at first sight is more like lust at first sight, which creates a bias towards that person that makes whatever they do seem better than it is. I think that this is a romantics point of view. It could be argued that "love at first sight" is the romantic point of view, but I disagree. I think love is more than just physical. I think it is more psychological and emotional, that if you don't know who someone is you can't really love them. And you can't know someone with a look. It is only through shared experiences and time that you can really have that long-lasting kind of love.

Anyway, I don't want to write in cliches and I don't want to just stick to such common themes. I want more than that. Which is what I struggle with.

Post 83: Burns

Let's talk about burns. Why? Because I just burnt myself. 2nd degree burn. Woo! 'Cause that's fun. From mid thigh down past my knee and on my little toe too. Lots of red and tiny blisters. Except the penny sized one on my toe and the quarter sized one on my knee. Of course, it doesn't hurt at all. I mean, it hurts A LOT. But I have taken several pain killers so the pain is kind of dull. Duller than it was before.

Now part of the reason I want to talk about burns is because I have a nasty habit of burning myself. I am a total klutz. Capital K with an emphasis on the spazz. 

The last time I burnt myself it was two fingers both second degree burns. It was a year ago and I still have the scar. 

The time before that it was second degree on my side from accidentally leaning on a curling iron. 

Before that it was a second degree burn on my arm from the top of the oven. 

And the first one I can remember apparently involved a cooking incident that was either second or third degree burns on my nose when I was younger. I remember it hurting. I remember being told by a lot of people to keep putting cream on it. I remember giant chucks of skin peeling off and being thoroughly grossed out. 

Of course, there are lots of minor burns in between.

Anyway, what I have learned  from burns, other than how unpleasant they are, is that there is not much you can do about them. They hurt a lot. They can do a lot of damage to the skin and it doesn't heal very fast.

But, it isn't like cuts. You can't do stitches.You can't just cover them up either.

I guess I didn't have as much to say as I thought I would. I'm kind of running out of things to say. So, I'm going to cut it short for now.

Post 82: Need vs. Want

Need versus want, a common dilemma. One that someone always faces. Mostly, I think it is heard about these days in shopping malls. "I need that purse", "I need new shoes", etc. But, need used to mean something that a person could not do without. You can do without a new pair of shoes, assuming that you have any shoes at all. And no one really needs a purse. I went years with only pockets.

Yet, we imply we need something when we want it enough.

I am facing it right now. I need something, except not really. I just really, really want it.

For school, of course. I really, really (I mean, REALLY) want to take this class. It is a class I am sure I would enjoy and learn from.

Except it goes until 9:30pm. On a good day, during normal bus hours, it takes me between two hours and an hour and a half to get home. Except after 8, the bus only comes every hour. So, if the first bus I take is late (which it usually is) and I miss the 10:08pm bus, then I have one shot at getting home on the 11:08pm bus. And then, I won't get home until at least 11:45pm. I have also gone to take the later buses when returning from movies with friends and the like and had it not come at all. By 10pm, my mom is usually asleep too. So, I will have no way to get home.

Short of a cab. Or, I could take a different bus to a different bus and then walk a half mile through woods and dark streets.  Still, no matter which way it plays out- I end up at home around midnight.

But, I really want to take this class and who knows when it will be available again. Then again, you have to submit an 8-page, prose portfolio in less than a month. That isn't much time. Plus, what if I submit it, and then still don't get in? That would be a little bit...depressing.

I don't even know what it is they're looking for. It just says 8-page prose portfolio. I mean, usually portfolio's imply collections of things when used like this. However, it doesn't specify if that is the case here. Or if they want an 8-page short story. Or 8 individual one page samples of writing. Or 2 four page essays.

I sent an email to the head of the English department asking what was meant by that. I haven't heard back yet.

This class is also four hours long. Technically, it is a two hour lecture followed by a two hour seminar, but that is still a really long time that late at night.

I don't really need to take this class, even taking it down from a life or death need to a for school need. I could take a different class. There are a number available that would fill the same requirement, but this class just appeals to me so much. I love writing, as you can tell from my blogging habits and stories about telling stories.

Most of my schools didn't have creative writing classes and the one high school that did, had limited availability and always conflicted with my schedule. I only ever took one creative writing class and it was online. It was great. I was the youngest person in the class, but it was never apparent. I would love to take a class where I could actually interact with other writing enthusiast and engage with the Professor.

I am going to try and get in. I don't know if when we send in the 'portfolio' we will hear back about whether or not we can join, or if it is just a formality.

I guess time will tell.

Post 81: Awkward moments

Could it get anymore awkward than saying something about someone and having that person behind you? Good or bad, it is awkward. I have yet to find myself in this exact situation. I say exact because while I have never been the one talking, I have been the person being talked to during these moments. Quite a few times, in fact.

The last time it happened, (I wonder whether I should mention it), was with my TA for...a class. I don't know exactly who is reading this blog , but I do know that since the blog is in my email signature there are a lot of people who have access. So, I will just leave it at TA for a class. Though, he probably knows who he is and so will anyone who was there. 

Anyway, we had just been handed back our midterms. I did well. (See B-Disappointed post from earlier to better understand how I'm feeling in this moment.) Anyway, I was talking to four or five other people who got the same grade. Some were excited, some were about at the level I was at. 

When we got on topic of another girl in the class. She is nice, but she also can be soft-spoken. Which makes it hard to judge how much she knows about the topic. She said she got an A. An 18, (we had all gotten about a 15.) And the first thing she had said to us after she looked was that he was really happy with it considering she didn't do any of the readings.

Now, I did the readings and while I didn't understand everything, I felt had a decent grasp on what we were being asked for, so this was a little frustrating to hear. 

(Though, I suspect she wasn't being 100% honest because according to the site where our grades were posted 17.4 was the highest input grade.)

Now, while it was frustrating, I didn't give it too much thought. It wasn't my mark and there was no way to go back and change what I had gotten, so I was focused on future things. Some of the others in the group I was talking with were less than satisfied that she did so well. 

They were talking about how well she had done and one of them threw out the comment, "Well, [the TA] likes [her]." In a manner that would suggest the grade was tied in with personal, potentially romantic, feelings towards her instead of her work. And he just happened to be walking behind us when she said this. 

He smiled at us, we exchanged slightly awkward eye contact and pretended like nothing happened. He didn't say anything. Maybe he didn't hear her. I don't know. It was still awkward on our end. 

This isn't the first time this has happened with this TA. He must honestly think we are the strangest class. 

The first time it happened was before the second tutorial when I was asking about what had happened during the first tutorial (which I missed for medical reasons) and the person who I was talking to started talking about him as he walked up behind us. She didn't say anything bad. 

Maybe it is just me that finds it incredibly awkward. And I don't just mean being talked about but talking about someone and finding out they've heard whether it is good or bad. If I wanted them to know or hear it, I would wait until they were around. If I don't want them to hear it...well, that one is kind of self-explanatory. 

For this reason I have been known to (what could be said to be) obsessively check the area I'm in when talking about someone. Actually, I do this even when it isn't me talking about someone just to be safe. But there is no accounting for people coming around corners unexpectedly or people lurking in the shadows eavesdropping. 

Anyway, I just felt like talking about this a bit. It hasn't really come up much since high school when people would talk about a teacher and the teacher would come in. I liked 95% of my teachers so this wasn't an issue for me. And the other 5% I feared too much to talk about.