Post 85: WYCLF - Gilmore Girls

There are a lot of claims that you can't learn anything from watching TV. I would like to declare this a lie. There are a lot of things you can learn from TV shows. So, I've decided to start up a second series (the first being my pet peeve series) to prove that this is true. For my first post of the series, I want to talk about what I learned from Gilmore Girls.

Gilmore Girls is a show from 2000-2007. The show is about two female characters, a mother (Lorelai) and daughter (Rory). The mother got pregnant at 16 and raised her daughter alone. The daughter is a smart, book-worm with only a few close friends.

While the show has a variety of different lessons about hard work, relationships (family and significant others), and pop culture, I have picked only one small example to talk about.

One day the daughter and her best friend were talking about what gift Rory should get for her boyfriend. Rory picked out a book that she really liked. Her best friend, Lane, pointed out that was probably not the best gift idea. Her boyfriend was very athletic and sweet, but not much of a reader.

Lane points out that while Rory may think it is a good gift, and while she would appreciate the gift if someone gave it to her, her boyfriend might not think of it the same way. Lane brings up an important idea about gift giving, it isn't just about how you see the gift but about how the other person will see the gift.

She uses the story about how she once gave perfume to her strictly religious mother, and how she meant well but her mother took it almost as an insult. She then explains to Rory that her giving her boyfriend a book would be the equivalent of him giving her a football.

I think this is an important lesson because it is something that can be overlooked sometimes. While, obviously, giving a gift to a loved one is meant as a sweet gesture it can cause problems as well.

Real-life Example:

My mother and I are very different in certain respects. For one, she is much more practical. This can lead to issues when it comes time to exchange gifts.

Recently, a friend and I were exploring the Kiersey website looking at the 16 personalities defined by Myers-Briggs. I am an Idealist, which is one of the four branches of personalities. Idealists value personalized gifts and gifts that reflect an understanding of them. Meaning they would rather receive a T-shirt with their favorite band on it than a Visa gift card of the same value. Because the band shirt shows that the giver knew something about them and put thought into the gift.

My mother is a Rational. Now it didn't specifically list what gifts rationales like, but I can tell you her practicality trails into her gift giving. For Christmas, I get socks and pajamas every year. I have gotten vitamins. I have gotten lotion. Mostly practical things that don't really reflect anything about me, but are useful all the same.

So, as you may have guessed, when we try and give each other gifts we often butt heads. I go for gifts that are more touchy-feely, while she gets me useful things. Now, don't get me wrong, I like getting socks. It does kind of reflect me because I am incapable of keeping pairs together. However, if they had cats on them it might warm the Idealist part of my brain.

One of the biggest problems though isn't how the other person feels, but how their reaction can cause problems. You never want to tell the person you got a gift for that you didn't like the gift. But, sometimes, you don't have to.

My mom has been stressed recently. So, I thought I would get her something to cheer her up. I got her a Game of Thrones shot glass. She is EXTREMELY obsessed with that show right now, so I thought she would like it. She doesn't really do shots, but I figured that it could have other uses. I even got the house (Stark) that she likes. I even filled it with peanut M&Ms and left it on her desk for her.

I don't remember if she thanked me, but I do remember her first comment was about how inconvenient it was because of her diet (which we were both only loosely sticking to at the time). She also made a comment about the fact it was a shot glass. I don't remember what it was exactly, but it went to the impracticality of it.

It hurt a little bit. I had tried to do something nice and felt like I had been brushed off. But, watching this episode made me realize that it was kind of my fault. I didn't think about how she would see the gift.

It is something people forget sometimes when buying gifts, so it is an important lesson that may seem self-evident but does need to be pointed out sometimes.

(WYLF - What You Can Learn From)