I must admit, I love Criminal Minds. Reid and Garcia are my favorite characters and if you don't think those two together are a powerful force, then feel free to tell me and I will patiently listen, but be prepared for an essay on why you are wrong with many, many examples. Partially because I love them and love to write, but also because it will give me an excuse to re-watch the show. And you best believe I own it on iTunes as well as the DVDs.
Anyway, I have had this post saved in my drafts for awhile because I was waiting for the right message to write about. I have learned a lot of things from the show, like don't use your birthday as a password and most serial killers are white men between 30 and 50, but that is not really what I wanted to share.
The last episode I saw had the perfect message. The perfect lesson to share.
David Rossi was talking to Emily Prentiss. Two other beloved characters, but not quite as close to my hear. They had, had a particularly bad case and after having many people ask if he was okay, he was thoroughly frustrated. And I get it. When you are upset, but trying to keep going and push through people constantly asking if you are okay is just frustrating. It makes it harder to keep it together and if you are trying to convince yourself that all is well, it is even worse.
He and Emily talk and I think it becomes clear to him, that he isn't really okay. But Emily says she won't ask him if he is. Instead, Emily then says she is going to ask him a question, not if he is okay, but who does he trust enough to admit that he isn't okay.
I loved this. When people constantly ask if you are okay, it is like they are insinuating you aren't. It is like a prodding question that can turn a sore spot into a full on bruise. It makes things worse, especially when the person is not someone you want to or can talk to. Instead of suggesting he wasn't okay, instead of trying to get him open up to her. She is straight with him. Her question is saying, I know you are not okay and you need to tell someone, but that person isn't me, so who is it that you can tell you are not okay too.
I liked it a lot because I remember times when I was upset and people were constantly poking and prodding into why and I didn't want to tell them. Sometimes because it was them, sometimes because it was nothing really and I was just emotional and I didn't want to talk about it. And them constantly asking just made me angrier. It also made me feel more detached. It was like having a secret and people constantly asking you tell them, even when they barely knew you.
I like this because while it was saying he wasn't really okay, it was also saying that it was okay if he didn't admit it to her or anyone else except the person he trusted to tell.
Honestly, it was just such a good line and I think really goes to emphasize the closeness of their friendship and her support as his friend and supervisor.
Showing posts with label WYCLF. Show all posts
Showing posts with label WYCLF. Show all posts
Wednesday, January 23, 2019
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
Post 110: WYCLF - Veronica Mars
There are lines everywhere. I don't mean lines at amusement parks. I don't mean geometric lines. I mean, lines in the sand, lines dividing two things under two different labels. The difference between being a strong character and a mean character, for example.
Most of the time, I like Veronica. She is strong and independent. She takes care of her friends and genuinely seems to empathize with her clients. However, there are a few times where she goes too far.
She talks a lot about how she was treated at the school. Her back story is a pretty classic, girl was popular something happens, girl is no longer popular so her "friends" turn on her. She says she cannot pretend that nothing happened and she is mad at them for what they did. However, she seems to lump together all the students in her school with the ones that turned on her.
The only friend she really has is someone who is new to the school.
And she is kind of rude to everyone else. A girl who she doesn't even really know comes to her after her dog goes missing and Veronica blows her off. She not only blows her off but does it in a really mean way. She later helps her, but she was still mean.
On her first day of University in her Criminology class, the Professor sets up have a game. The point of the game is a murder mystery, like Clue, but without the board. Everyone gets a card with their back story and everyone goes around and interviews people to figure it out.
The TA holds the current record for the fastest time to solve it.
Veronica Googles the game and finds the answer. She then mocks the TA for taking so long. She didn't really prove anything. She didn't show herself to be that smart. Anyone could have Googled it. She also ruined it for everyone. This was supposed to be a fun activity for everyone to do, not just to introduce them to the course but to get them to talk to each other.
What she did ended the game after only 5 minutes. She didn't break the rules, but she did violate the spirit of the game. Like using a Dictionary while playing Scrabble or mouthing the word during Charades.
Her then turning around and mocking the TA was horrible, because he actually put in the effort to get the answer by playing the game. I mean, she acts very superior. But I can't help but wonder, would she have been able to solve it as fast if she hadn't looked it up? He copped some attitude about her reading instead of playing, so I get why she would be annoyed at him, but, really, it wasn't the place to be reading to begin with. If she was finished she could have told the Professor or done something else, but reading a magazine gave off the impression she didn't really care about the class at all. It was almost like she was daring him or the Professor to say something so she could throw it back in their face.
And she was actually wrong. She said she knew who solved it, but she didn't. It was either a man or a woman, and she didn't know which. She counted on either the Professor or TA giving it away. If the professor had said 'their' instead of 'his', then she wouldn't have known.
There are several other moments where she crosses the line. This got me thinking about her as a character. I don't think I could be friends with her if she was a real person. She seems sort of two-faced.
She realized that she was perceived negatively, but she didn't seem to think she actually was doing anything wrong.
Anyway, the point I'm making is that in the 3 seasons the four or five moments where she crosses the line between stubborn and strong-willed into being right out mean really have an effect on how her character is seen.
Her character was always kind of witchy (with a b) from that first moment she crossed the line on.
I think this kind of speaks to the point that there are some lines you can't really come back from once you cross them.
For example, if you start off being mean to someone, you never really get their trust back.
And that sometimes when writing female characters, there is a difference between strong and independent and rude and arrogant.
Like the difference between CJ and Mandy from West Wing.
Most of the time, I like Veronica. She is strong and independent. She takes care of her friends and genuinely seems to empathize with her clients. However, there are a few times where she goes too far.
She talks a lot about how she was treated at the school. Her back story is a pretty classic, girl was popular something happens, girl is no longer popular so her "friends" turn on her. She says she cannot pretend that nothing happened and she is mad at them for what they did. However, she seems to lump together all the students in her school with the ones that turned on her.
The only friend she really has is someone who is new to the school.
And she is kind of rude to everyone else. A girl who she doesn't even really know comes to her after her dog goes missing and Veronica blows her off. She not only blows her off but does it in a really mean way. She later helps her, but she was still mean.
On her first day of University in her Criminology class, the Professor sets up have a game. The point of the game is a murder mystery, like Clue, but without the board. Everyone gets a card with their back story and everyone goes around and interviews people to figure it out.
The TA holds the current record for the fastest time to solve it.
Veronica Googles the game and finds the answer. She then mocks the TA for taking so long. She didn't really prove anything. She didn't show herself to be that smart. Anyone could have Googled it. She also ruined it for everyone. This was supposed to be a fun activity for everyone to do, not just to introduce them to the course but to get them to talk to each other.
What she did ended the game after only 5 minutes. She didn't break the rules, but she did violate the spirit of the game. Like using a Dictionary while playing Scrabble or mouthing the word during Charades.
Her then turning around and mocking the TA was horrible, because he actually put in the effort to get the answer by playing the game. I mean, she acts very superior. But I can't help but wonder, would she have been able to solve it as fast if she hadn't looked it up? He copped some attitude about her reading instead of playing, so I get why she would be annoyed at him, but, really, it wasn't the place to be reading to begin with. If she was finished she could have told the Professor or done something else, but reading a magazine gave off the impression she didn't really care about the class at all. It was almost like she was daring him or the Professor to say something so she could throw it back in their face.
And she was actually wrong. She said she knew who solved it, but she didn't. It was either a man or a woman, and she didn't know which. She counted on either the Professor or TA giving it away. If the professor had said 'their' instead of 'his', then she wouldn't have known.
There are several other moments where she crosses the line. This got me thinking about her as a character. I don't think I could be friends with her if she was a real person. She seems sort of two-faced.
She realized that she was perceived negatively, but she didn't seem to think she actually was doing anything wrong.
Anyway, the point I'm making is that in the 3 seasons the four or five moments where she crosses the line between stubborn and strong-willed into being right out mean really have an effect on how her character is seen.
Her character was always kind of witchy (with a b) from that first moment she crossed the line on.
I think this kind of speaks to the point that there are some lines you can't really come back from once you cross them.
For example, if you start off being mean to someone, you never really get their trust back.
And that sometimes when writing female characters, there is a difference between strong and independent and rude and arrogant.
Like the difference between CJ and Mandy from West Wing.
Tuesday, September 16, 2014
Post 92: WYCLF - SpongeBob Squarepants
Profound wisdom can be found anywhere, even in SpongeBob. Okay, maybe profound is too strong a word. But, it does have some things that are good to keep in mind as you go through your life. The most important one - "Love your job, love your life." I guess it could also be summarized as "it's all about attitude." But, I think that the one most relevant to me right now is the first.
So, where did this lesson come from? The sponge himself, obviously. If you've never caught an episode of the show, I can't say you are missing much. You will still be able to understand what I am talking about, though. So, stick around.
If you have seen the show, you will already know that one of the main character's strongest traits is his insanely high sense of optimism. And he really loves his job.
I don't know why. I'm sure anyone who watches the show probably wonders why as well. He is underpaid and mistreated by his boss. His entire job is making burgers and that is really it.
Yet, he loves it anyway.
Because he loves it, he wakes up in the morning and is not only happy to wake up but thrilled to go to work. Even when I liked my co-workers, even when I liked to go to work - I never felt so much excitement so early in the morning as he does on a standard day.
His entire life seems like it is better because he loves his job. He doesn't mind working late. He doesn't mind getting paid next to nothing because he is doing something that he loves.
Now, I don't want to end up making as little as he did. I mean, I really don't. In real-life Mr. Krabs would be in jail or Sponge Bob would be receiving government cheese.
However, I want a job that I love as much as he does. I want a job that makes me happy to get out of bed, even if I have to get up before 8am. I want a job that makes me feel energized, not depleted.
This is my goal. I just don't know what I am going to do, yet. So, maybe I haven't found it yet. Maybe it will even take a few years. Who knows. But, I have my fingers crossed that I will find it soon.
I don't know who is reading this or where you are in your life, but if you can, you might want to think about your job and whether or not is something you love. I'm sure some people are okay doing jobs that they have next to no passion for, but I am not wired that way.
A lot of a person's time is dedicated to their career if they don't love it, or even just like it, it doesn't seem to me like a fulfilling activity. It takes too much from a person if they don't really enjoy it.
So, while I'm not saying forget about money and location or anything else, I think that the number one factor in picking a job is how much it makes you happy.
Friday, July 18, 2014
Post 85: WYCLF - Gilmore Girls
There are a lot of claims that you can't learn anything from watching TV. I would like to declare this a lie. There are a lot of things you can learn from TV shows. So, I've decided to start up a second series (the first being my pet peeve series) to prove that this is true. For my first post of the series, I want to talk about what I learned from Gilmore Girls.
Gilmore Girls is a show from 2000-2007. The show is about two female characters, a mother (Lorelai) and daughter (Rory). The mother got pregnant at 16 and raised her daughter alone. The daughter is a smart, book-worm with only a few close friends.
While the show has a variety of different lessons about hard work, relationships (family and significant others), and pop culture, I have picked only one small example to talk about.
One day the daughter and her best friend were talking about what gift Rory should get for her boyfriend. Rory picked out a book that she really liked. Her best friend, Lane, pointed out that was probably not the best gift idea. Her boyfriend was very athletic and sweet, but not much of a reader.
Lane points out that while Rory may think it is a good gift, and while she would appreciate the gift if someone gave it to her, her boyfriend might not think of it the same way. Lane brings up an important idea about gift giving, it isn't just about how you see the gift but about how the other person will see the gift.
She uses the story about how she once gave perfume to her strictly religious mother, and how she meant well but her mother took it almost as an insult. She then explains to Rory that her giving her boyfriend a book would be the equivalent of him giving her a football.
I think this is an important lesson because it is something that can be overlooked sometimes. While, obviously, giving a gift to a loved one is meant as a sweet gesture it can cause problems as well.
Real-life Example:
My mother and I are very different in certain respects. For one, she is much more practical. This can lead to issues when it comes time to exchange gifts.
Recently, a friend and I were exploring the Kiersey website looking at the 16 personalities defined by Myers-Briggs. I am an Idealist, which is one of the four branches of personalities. Idealists value personalized gifts and gifts that reflect an understanding of them. Meaning they would rather receive a T-shirt with their favorite band on it than a Visa gift card of the same value. Because the band shirt shows that the giver knew something about them and put thought into the gift.
My mother is a Rational. Now it didn't specifically list what gifts rationales like, but I can tell you her practicality trails into her gift giving. For Christmas, I get socks and pajamas every year. I have gotten vitamins. I have gotten lotion. Mostly practical things that don't really reflect anything about me, but are useful all the same.
So, as you may have guessed, when we try and give each other gifts we often butt heads. I go for gifts that are more touchy-feely, while she gets me useful things. Now, don't get me wrong, I like getting socks. It does kind of reflect me because I am incapable of keeping pairs together. However, if they had cats on them it might warm the Idealist part of my brain.
One of the biggest problems though isn't how the other person feels, but how their reaction can cause problems. You never want to tell the person you got a gift for that you didn't like the gift. But, sometimes, you don't have to.
My mom has been stressed recently. So, I thought I would get her something to cheer her up. I got her a Game of Thrones shot glass. She is EXTREMELY obsessed with that show right now, so I thought she would like it. She doesn't really do shots, but I figured that it could have other uses. I even got the house (Stark) that she likes. I even filled it with peanut M&Ms and left it on her desk for her.
I don't remember if she thanked me, but I do remember her first comment was about how inconvenient it was because of her diet (which we were both only loosely sticking to at the time). She also made a comment about the fact it was a shot glass. I don't remember what it was exactly, but it went to the impracticality of it.
It hurt a little bit. I had tried to do something nice and felt like I had been brushed off. But, watching this episode made me realize that it was kind of my fault. I didn't think about how she would see the gift.
It is something people forget sometimes when buying gifts, so it is an important lesson that may seem self-evident but does need to be pointed out sometimes.
(WYLF - What You Can Learn From)
Gilmore Girls is a show from 2000-2007. The show is about two female characters, a mother (Lorelai) and daughter (Rory). The mother got pregnant at 16 and raised her daughter alone. The daughter is a smart, book-worm with only a few close friends.
While the show has a variety of different lessons about hard work, relationships (family and significant others), and pop culture, I have picked only one small example to talk about.
One day the daughter and her best friend were talking about what gift Rory should get for her boyfriend. Rory picked out a book that she really liked. Her best friend, Lane, pointed out that was probably not the best gift idea. Her boyfriend was very athletic and sweet, but not much of a reader.
Lane points out that while Rory may think it is a good gift, and while she would appreciate the gift if someone gave it to her, her boyfriend might not think of it the same way. Lane brings up an important idea about gift giving, it isn't just about how you see the gift but about how the other person will see the gift.
She uses the story about how she once gave perfume to her strictly religious mother, and how she meant well but her mother took it almost as an insult. She then explains to Rory that her giving her boyfriend a book would be the equivalent of him giving her a football.
I think this is an important lesson because it is something that can be overlooked sometimes. While, obviously, giving a gift to a loved one is meant as a sweet gesture it can cause problems as well.
Real-life Example:
My mother and I are very different in certain respects. For one, she is much more practical. This can lead to issues when it comes time to exchange gifts.
Recently, a friend and I were exploring the Kiersey website looking at the 16 personalities defined by Myers-Briggs. I am an Idealist, which is one of the four branches of personalities. Idealists value personalized gifts and gifts that reflect an understanding of them. Meaning they would rather receive a T-shirt with their favorite band on it than a Visa gift card of the same value. Because the band shirt shows that the giver knew something about them and put thought into the gift.
My mother is a Rational. Now it didn't specifically list what gifts rationales like, but I can tell you her practicality trails into her gift giving. For Christmas, I get socks and pajamas every year. I have gotten vitamins. I have gotten lotion. Mostly practical things that don't really reflect anything about me, but are useful all the same.
So, as you may have guessed, when we try and give each other gifts we often butt heads. I go for gifts that are more touchy-feely, while she gets me useful things. Now, don't get me wrong, I like getting socks. It does kind of reflect me because I am incapable of keeping pairs together. However, if they had cats on them it might warm the Idealist part of my brain.
One of the biggest problems though isn't how the other person feels, but how their reaction can cause problems. You never want to tell the person you got a gift for that you didn't like the gift. But, sometimes, you don't have to.
My mom has been stressed recently. So, I thought I would get her something to cheer her up. I got her a Game of Thrones shot glass. She is EXTREMELY obsessed with that show right now, so I thought she would like it. She doesn't really do shots, but I figured that it could have other uses. I even got the house (Stark) that she likes. I even filled it with peanut M&Ms and left it on her desk for her.
I don't remember if she thanked me, but I do remember her first comment was about how inconvenient it was because of her diet (which we were both only loosely sticking to at the time). She also made a comment about the fact it was a shot glass. I don't remember what it was exactly, but it went to the impracticality of it.
It hurt a little bit. I had tried to do something nice and felt like I had been brushed off. But, watching this episode made me realize that it was kind of my fault. I didn't think about how she would see the gift.
It is something people forget sometimes when buying gifts, so it is an important lesson that may seem self-evident but does need to be pointed out sometimes.
(WYLF - What You Can Learn From)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
-
Or rather, top ten female characters that would be considered Disney Princesses if they were, in fact, Disney characters. By this I mean, c...
-
I'm growing more and more anxious every day waiting to hear back. But I know that it will be at least another ten days. But it is gettin...
