Rating Hallmark Christmas Romance Movies

'Tis the season for some Christmas movies. This post will focus on Hallmark Romances. Next I might do Christmas Romances that are like Hallmark movies, but not by Hallmark. And then maybe I will focus on the Santa Christmas movies, specifically. While Santa does make a brief appearance (or a Santa look-a-like) in some of these to dispense some wisdom, the only one below where he seems to really play a role in the events is Snowed Inn Christmas. 

Finding Father Christmas: Cute and had a twist that I didn't expect, not overly dramatic and the couple was cute together. 8/10

• Has two sequels (Engaging Father Christmas and Marrying Father Christmas)

On the 12th Date of Christmas: A classic "optimistic, Christmas loving girl converts loner, Scrooge boy". It was cute, opportunity to make it overly dramatic and angsty, but did well at keeping it reasonable. 8/10

Christmas at Holly Lodge: Okay, a lot of different storylines to follow that didn't really seem to connect as well as they could. Classic happy ending for all, but people didn't really act rationally. Plus she spent 60% of the movie avoiding him. So, he had a grander than grand romantic gesture after knowing her for basically two days. 5/10

Christmas Cottage: Classic, "workaholic city girl returns home and falls in love with childhood sweetheart". Personally, it is always a knock against a movie if one or both is engaged to someone else. It just seems questionable to me to be declaring your love to someone less than 24 hours after ending a long-term relationship or engagement. She also bailed on work A LOT for someone who supposedly cared about her job. Plus, I feel like she made some selfish decisions that weren't necessary to get the happy ending. The couple did seem to have pretty good chemistry. 6/10

Snowed Inn Christmas: Really enjoyed this one. Opposites attract, cute chemistry. I think more could have been done to establish their relationship early on (i.e. kind of implies he might have been such a jerk to her for so long because he liked her but thought she didn't like him). Loses a point for ending long-term relationship and confessing to someone new within 24 hours. 8/10

Candy Cane Christmas: Too many misunderstandings and assumptions. They didn't just jump to conclusions, they flung themselves at them. Also they lived in the same small town and crossed paths like 6 times in two days, how had they never met before? Neither was new in town and they seemed to have mutual friends. He was instantly infatuated and spent probably $1000s of dollars on a grand gesture to make her happy in the end (not even something she needed, just on something she liked in the past). I think most people would be a little uncomfortable at someone going to such an extreme effort after just one date. 3/10

Our Last Love Song: Cute, but unrealistic. Classic Hallmark, "no one is really bad, even when they actually break the law", with a dab of "small town boy, city girl" and a sprinkle of "childhood sweethearts". 5/10

Lucky Christmas: My least favorite one yet. A guy and his brother commit arson and insurance fraud, then steal her car (which happens to have her winning lottery ticket in it). And the guy then inserts himself into her life, basically stalking her and using things he found in her car to get closer to her, because she is pretty. But also because he wants to decide if he should return the ticket or not. And then when she finds out what he did SHE STILL LETS HIM HANG OUT WITH HER SON. Like, I wouldn't let my son hang out with some stranger who I knew was both a criminal and a liar who stalked me and went through my things to insert himself into my life. She doesn't even turn him into the police. And he is like "I mailed the lottery ticket back to you". Like...okay, that doesn't change the fact that he was an accomplice to arson and theft. He also didn't send it back immediately. He dated her first and then when he decided he had feelings for her, he sent it back. So, like he only did the right thing because he was attracted to her. That's not really a win. And then she finds the lottery ticket and is like "he told the truth about sending it back!" And his brother says it was his idea to commit the crimes, which doesn't change the fact that he still was involved and he didn't have to be. So, she goes and confesses her love to him and they cash the ticket together. Like...why? He is clearly not someone you can trust and he will probably end up in jail. Oh, and the money you shared with him? Will be going to paying the legal fees when he gets sued by the insurance company. And they didn't even have chemistry to explain why she would be so eager to overlook his red flags. 0/10

Christmas in Montana: A little cliché, someone from the city going to the country to tell them how to run their business (be it a restaurant, hotel, inn, etc.) but then having that epiphany about how family and community are the most important things. I think this cliche annoys me, because it makes her look incompetent. It's almost always a woman coming into town and trying to change the small town business to the big city standard, but I've literally taken four business and marketing classes total and even I know that you look at the demographics and community of the surrounding area. And if she is really a VP or Executive, she would know that cookie cutter business strategies aren't going to work everywhere. Anyway, they had good chemistry and there were some twists that made it a little less cliché. 7/10

 

Christmas Under the Stars: Really cute, and while it had the "redemption for all" trope, it actually made sense without it just being a Christmas miracle. Lots of secondary characters that actually tied to the plot well. 8/10

Christmas in Homestead: Celebrity and non-celebrity romance, with a dab of "the grass isn't always greener on the other side". Cute overall with good chemistry, but the ending is a bit vague. The main issue separating them wasn't really resolved and it doesn't show any attempt or plan to resolve it. So, just by the power of love, I guess? 7/10

Heart of Christmas: Cute, liked that some of the early minor characters played a role in the end. Love when people doing good things early on has a ripple effect and the people they helped early on help them in return. Don't love the main female lead constantly yelling at a guy for doing his job. Not uncommon, but makes the female lead in this seem seem naïve at best, ignorant at worst. 7/10

Christmas Town: Loved this one. Was super cute, the pieces connected and it really did seem like fate without being too in your face about anything. Also, no one really had to give up anything. So often the female lead gives up her job in the city , but in this she actually still got her dream job, she just got it in the same town as her dream guy. 9/10

Miss Christmas: Really cute, liked the family. Certain scenes seemed unnecessary, but overall well done. The ending felt a little rushed and considering he was the one who yelled at her and accused her of basically being manipulative and faking romantic interest in him to get what she wanted, I was NOT happy that he basically never apologized. Like, he overhears her talking and leaps to conclusions, makes accusations, does something that he knows might risk her career and get her fired, while also making her look bad in front of basically the entire city, and then when he finds out he is wrong he feels bad about it but doesn't do anything. She is the one who makes the grand romantic gesture in the end, she gives up her apartment, AND quits the job she loves to return to him, before he even apologized. Like he thought some really horrible things about her based on two sentences out of context. If he loses trust in her that quickly, the relationship will not succeed. Other than the ending though, it wasn't bad. 5/10 

Snow Capped Christmas: It was cute. The characters got along fairly well. Relationship could have been fleshed out more, seems like a large part of it came from the fact that she got a long with his daughter. And while that's good for the relationship long-term, there needs to be more if they are going to last. Like, if she gets a long with her teachers and they are pretty, is he going to date them too? 7/10

Switched for Christmas: Twin drama as adults. Honestly, I wasn't a fan of the premise of this movie. One sister was a teacher and the other worked at some sort of property management firm. They had different jobs, different skill sets, different educations, etc. It doesn't make sense that they would swap jobs like that and then be surprised when things don't go smoothly. Also, it is technically against the law (identity fraud) and while they might not have gotten in trouble doing it as kids, as adults they might. 6/10

Dashing Through the Snow: They were trying too hard to make her seem nice and innocent. The whole premise is that she had her identity stolen and an incompetent FBI agent is convinced she is a criminal/terrorist. He has his team manipulate events (in a way that makes no logical sense) to get her in the car with an undercover agent who falls for her. But, she is so over the top with the positivity. I am a positive person and I'd find her annoying. And then the big climax happens and they basically gloss over her being arrested and proven innocent, only to cut to several days later with him (for some reason) in one of the towns they had stopped in, despite it not being where she was arrested, where she went after, or where he was based. Also, she basically knew nothing about him except that he was an undercover agent who lied to her and led to her getting arrested and several of her friends harassed and treated like terrorists. Also, the fact that their ending confession was basically "now you can believe in me like my dad" was a little awkwardly written and kind of screamed "daddy issues". The puppy though was very cute. Overall, think it had a good premise (and not a unique one, really) but could have been done better. 5/10

Christmas Everlasting: It was good and I liked some of the aspects a lot. I think that it could have been fleshed out more and some things were added to make it more dramatic, that weren't needed. They brought in a long lost relative, when I think more focus should have been on the main female lead overcoming the trauma and guilt she felt about her sister's accident. Like she clearly blamed herself for years and let the guilt she felt dictate the course of her life, but it really came up like once in a conversation and then it kind of implied through context that she didn't visit home because it was hard seeing her sister struggle. Like the pieces were mostly there but not well connected to give her that kind of moment of realization and closure, instead the focus was on the relative that doesn't even play a major part other than as a sort of twist. 6.5/10

Chateau Christmas: Cute, good chemistry between the leads. Not too much angst or drama. A little cliché with the reoccurring "she went to pursue her dreams and he stayed behind" thing. 7.5/10

Christmas Wishes and Mistletoe Kisses: Cute couple, some miscommunication issues that don't make much sense (i.e. why assume two people who aren't even dating will suddenly get engaged that very night?). She didn't need to have a kid. I feel like a lot of Christmas movies one of the two romantic leads will have a kid to kind of act as a bridge between the characters (i.e. guy with kid and girl bonds with kid first) or an obstacle (i.e. she doesn't want to date because her kid is her focus), but he didn't play much of a role at all. In fact, I had to start playing it again just to check if I remembered correctly that she even had a kid. 7.5/10

Christmas Bells are Ringing: She lost her inspiration and passion in the big city and finds it in her small hometown with her childhood sweetheart. They both give things up at the end, which seems a little unnecessary but its sweet and they seem happy about it. 7/10

One Royal Holiday: This was really cute and I liked the accents, but even Hallmark knows that the secondary couple took the show (Hallmark uses the second couple in a lot of commercials for Hallmark movies). First of all, the secondary couple had such a cute meeting. They had such a good story line that should be the premise of another Hallmark movie (royalty/celebrity ends up stranded in small town, head of security/head bodyguard works with town's mayor to ensure discretion and security). And I  LOVED her attitude. The main female lead was like "don't pursue this, it isn't real. He's going to leave. It will never work." And the she was just like "they said I wouldn't be mayor, but look at me now." And "it might be hard to do long distance, but I think it is worth trying". Loved them. They should have been in it more or the main couple. The main couple was still okay. Suggests she might be going to live with him or just visiting. I don't know. Honestly, not sure they do either. But the secondary couple, they buy tickets for her to fly out to visit him for New Year's way before the main couple even comes to terms with how they feel. 7/10

Jingle Bell Bride: They were a cute couple, felt like there were some plot lines that never were fully pursued. But it did make it lighter on the drama. Like her coworker seemed to be trying to sabotage her, but that seemed like a plot thread that was just dropped. In fact, it was made to seem kind of sketchy about her going to the main female lead's client sort of behind her back, but like they worked at the same firm and the lead was stranded in a Alaska, it made sense that someone else would work with her client while she was away and nothing came of it. 6/10

Cheerful Christmas: She was too much. They needed to tone her character down a little bit. She was so overly enthusiastic and hyper, that a lot of the time their meetings seemed awkward and forced with her trying to shove Christmas cheer down his throat. Like she constantly disturbed his work, got in his way, or was overly pushy but everyone encouraged her to keep annoying him to "save his Christmas spirit". But, she gets better about halfway through when they become more of a duo and they live in the same area so there isn't too much drama in regards to how they will maintain a relationship. 6.5/10

Christmas on My Mind: She basically magically (I guess) forgets two years of her life. But then it doesn't really make any sense. Like, she gets bits and pieces back, but it doesn't all seem to come back to her by the end of the month. So, she makes some pretty big decisions about her future considering she is still missing so much of her past. The main couple are cute, but I am not really a fan of people being all "I'm going to hold them back". Because a) 90% of the time there is nothing stopping them from going with them or pursuing a long-distance relationship and b) it reminds me of something from another show that I wish I could remember exactly, but it was something like "you can't expect her to pick you, if she doesn't know you are an option". All she really remembers was him calling off their engagement two years prior so he wouldn't hold her back and he then he doesn't even really say he still loves her and wants her to stay. 6/10

Cranberry Christmas: This felt like it was meant to be a sequel to something, but I don't think it was. The couple is already married but are having some difficulties (mostly in communication). I liked that she called him out for basically doing a "maybe we shouldn't be together" in an attempt to not hold her back thing. I feel like I would have rooted for them more if I saw how they came together. So, if it isn't a sequel, then maybe we need a prequel. 6/10

Christmas Connection: I really liked this, but felt like we could have gone into her backstory more. Like, it seems to suggest she isn't big on Christmas because her parents died when she was young and she was raised by her grandparents, who have since passed away so she doesn't have family to spend it with. But, it doesn't really seem to talk about how her grandparents did Christmas. The kid was cute and I liked a lot of the story. 7/10

Merry & Bright: I'm going to start off by saying the framing device was weird and unnecessary. It starts with her being asked a question and goes into a flashback, but it is just not necessary and really kind of spoils the ending. The couple are cute, there were things introduced early on that came up later. Some things didn't make sense from a practical point, but overall very cute. 7/10

Post 150: What Big Picture? How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days

This is a plot hole that has annoyed me for quite a long time. In the movie How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Andy (main character) justifies her writing for a fashion and beauty magazine and basically "selling out and writing fluff pieces" (she doesn't say that exactly but implies it) is all in hopes that the editor will like her work and give her free reign to write whatever she wants.

Her idea of what she wants to write is serious, hard-hitting pieces on political and social current events. So, my question is, is she an idiot? It's the only way this idea makes any sense.

I took one and only one journalism class in University but I still know this is stupid. A main idea we discussed is 'audience'. It is important to know your audience. So how is it that someone in the industry, who supposedly went to University for this career and has an interest in it, would actually think that there was any way at all that the editor of a fashion and glamor magazine would let her write any of those kinds of articles?

People who pick up those kinds of magazines may be looking for health and dating tips, but what they are really looking for is light and casual reading. Not something that will make them think about the political turmoil people countries away are suffering. There is no way Andy would have actually thought she would get the choice to write those articles for the same magazine. Unless she was an idiot. And it does seem at first like she is thinking of it as paying her dues where she can go somewhere else with this experience but when she is talking to her boss and her boss says she has free reign with in reason for the material that fits with the magazine, she is shocked. She wouldn't have been shocked. It's a fashion magazine, not the Times. It would be like someone working at Disney being surprised when their boss said they couldn't show the kids Saw.

And what makes it seem even more ridiculous is that she has friends at the paper and clearly has worked there awhile and been in the meetings hearing topics discussed, does she really think that the reason those kinds of articles were never suggested or brought up was due to lack of interest by writers alone? How did she not realize it wouldn't fit in with the magazine?

I feel like this is simply a matter of the person writing the movie not actually having any real background knowledge of journalism and a lack of common sense in the matter OR a desperate need to make sure that she was 'different' because heaven forbid she actually enjoy writing about fashion or dating. No, no. It needed to be beneath her in order for her to be deep. I mean, it's fine for her friends, one who we rarely see or learn anything about and the other who is clingy, over-emotional, and insecure. But Andy needs to want a "serious" job. There is really no other reason her character needed to want to write about other things. It doesn't really affect the plot much. And as it is, it actually hurts the plot more than it helps. 

The Good Witch (Movie Series, 2008 - 2014)

The Good Witch, The Good Witch's Garden, Gift, Family, Charm, Destiny, and Wonder.  Seven movies in one series may seem a little bit excessive, especially without any explicitly known mythical creatures, action adventures, or wars of any kind.

No, they are all Hallmark movies, about a family. And a 'Good Witch', though it is never fully out and out stated. I think that I like it best when it is kind of ambiguous, if they had ever completely come out and shown her to be a witch or made it obvious then it wouldn't have had the same magic.

The first movie is about her coming to town, trying to get settled in. It was a sweet movie, with a good message about not judging a book by its cover. The second was about having hope and helping others, as she still struggles to fit in as certain townsfolk still work against her. The third is about her wedding, and second chances. The fourth about family and growing up, as an unexpected distant relative comes to town. The fifth is about family as well, but more specifically about how good parenting isn't an exact science but something built from good intentions. The sixth is about destiny and responsibility. The last is about relationships.

Of course, as they are Hallmark movies, there are overlapping messages, but all are positive. All are about having faith in yourself and others. And in one movie, Cassie says that is what the real magic is.

Okay, that sounds a little sappy. But, Hallmark is a little sappy. They're all about happy endings and meaningful messages. These are no exception. But they are funny too.

And I think, compared to some of the Hallmark movies I've seen, they don't cross the line between heartwarming and sweet into cliche and cringe-worthy.

I must say though, the TV show is a no-go. At least not if you liked and watched the movies. I've only seen an episode and I can tell you that it is not the same. The magic behind it is gone and the relationships seem weird. I think, you can watch the movies or the TV series, but not both.

Not for everyone, must like happy endings and have a tolerance for sometimes sappy moments.

BoxTrolls (2014)

Cute and creepy, the two words that would succinctly wrap up what this movie was. The BoxTrolls are cute, but creepy. The little girl was cute, but disturbed. Like really disturbed. Overall, I am not sure whether the movie was weird or inspirational, or really if it was trying to be either.

There seems to be a message that: material things do not make you who you are.

But the overall message ends being kind of diluted by the sheer ridiculousness that someone would really be willing to murder for cheese, or rather the right to wear a white hat and eat cheese. They don't even get to keep the cheese themselves, and this person is ALLERGIC to cheese. I mean, his face swells up and they have to use leeches to stop it.

I think that overall I liked the movie, but would have liked a few more laughs. It looks like a kids movie. But it isn't really what you would expect from a kid's movie.

It starts off with rumors spreading around town of a baby being kidnapped and taken down into the sewers by monsters where he is supposedly eaten alive, while his father is murdered when he tries to save him. Creepy, right?

Then it jumps ahead, the kid wasn't eaten but was adopted as one of their own (like with Timon and Pumba in Lion King, except...not). The BoxTrolls are being captured and killed. The boy-BoxTroll decides to go find out why and see if he can't stop it.

He meets the crazy little girl who seems a little too interested in BoxTrolls and spends a lot of time thinking about them and romanticizing the idea that they might come tear off her face and wear her toes as a necklace. She meets BoxBoy and one of the first things she asks him is if they LET him watch them murder his parents. LET HIM. She later corrects it to MAKE him, but she meant let. She is psychotic. I mean, I found her to be one of the scarier characters and she was meant to be one of the good guys!

So, you can see why I'm not really thinking of this as a kids' movie. Which makes the whole message a little murkier, because who is it even for?

Anyway, it wasn't bad. It had some cute moments and it had a happy ending. Would I recommend it? Sure. Would I recommend seeing it in theatres? No. No, I would not. Wait until it comes out on DVD.

Avalon High (2010)

There is a moment when I find out a book I love is going to be made into a movie where I feel a powerful and strange mixture of utter joy and complete misery. There are really two ways a book based on a movie can go, absolutely fabulous or painfully despicable.

The Help was very well done.

Avalon High, not so much.

Three main things that bugged me:

1. They changed the main character.
2. They changed the main character.
3. They changed the main character.

My listing it three times is more than just me being dramatic. It actually reflects to the three main issues that came up when they changed the main character. This isn't a movie I really recommend, 90% on bias and 10% because I found it cheesy.

So, I am going to give away spoilers. That was your spoiler alert.

The main premise of the book is that every generation has an Arthur (as in King, Excalibur, Knights of the Round Table, etc.). And with every generation the forces of evil grow stronger. In this generation, a young girl (high school) moves to a town where the events are already being set in motion. There is a boy named Will who is the high school, football star, who is Arthur. His girlfriend Gwen and his best friend Lance, who are having an affair (get the reference - even the names Gwen/Guinevere, Lance/Lancelot).

The main character comes to town and she doesn't know all this. She befriends "Merlin". As things go on she finds out about the prophecy and she wants to help. But everyone tells her not to get involved. They assume she is a minor character because of her name. But, she insists anyway. In the end, she saves Arthur, because she is actually the Lady of the Lake. A character who never appeared before, so no one expected her.

In the movie, it isn't an 'every' generation thing.  In the movie, Gwen and Lance are having an affair, but the main character is now Arthur. It is still a she, they just made the football star obsolete and made her Arthur instead of Lady of the Lake.

They also changed the bad guys a little bit, but it didn't effect the plot nearly as much as what they did to her.

First of all, the whole Lance and Gwen thing no longer has a point. The whole point was that history was repeating itself in them. But, now that Arthur is a girl and not even a friend to either Gwen or Lance, having them be together really only served as misdirection and a point of frustration. Also she has no connection to them, so how do they even remain part of the story? The only time it even affects the plot at all is when Will finds out and throws a fit. Of course, he has been flirting and going googly-eyed for the main character pretty much the entire movie, so it seems a little hypocritical. Then, he forgives Lance not ten minutes later. Further making it pointless.

Second, it kills some of her characters moxie because no one is telling her to sit back and not get involved. It was one of the reasons she was so likable to me, because she didn't care if the prophecy said she wasn't involved, she wasn't going to sit back and watch her friends suffer. They totally took that out of the plot.  The character everyone thought she was in the book isn't mentioned in the movie. And she is encouraged to help Arthur, so she isn't taking initiative she is just following along since it isn't even really her idea.

Third, and what annoys me the most, some of the people who were commenting on the movie said that this was better because it gave her more power making her king. I'm sorry, but how does downgrading her from a powerful, mystic being who was the Ruler of Avalon, the woman who raised Lancelot and who gave Arthur the sword that lead to his gaining power in the first place down to just a King an act of empowerment? Or is it all because they made what everyone thought would be a male character a female character?

The presence of the Lady of the Lake was the whole reason in the book that evil was finally defeated once and for all and would not rise again.

But they cut that all out. Which also meant that the main character's love interest was suddenly a nobody who was somehow connected, but not actually involved in the prophecy. He was just there like a tag-along.

The book was better and she was better in it.  Disney, please leave my favorite books alone (or do them right). I don't even want to go into what you did to the Princess Diaries series.

Still, I say - if I hadn't read the book it would have been okay. But I am far too attached to the book to look the other way, personally. So, for me I say not recommended. But will tag it 'with conditions' as well.