Post 24: Conversational Monologuers

I'm sure everyone has run into a monologuer at one time or another. Some of the people reading this may even be a monologuer. What is a monologuer you ask?

A conversational monologuer is a term one of my friends and I came up with as a name for people who seem more like they are giving a monologue than having a conversation. They are commonly identified by their inability to stop talking.

There are two subsets in this group: the passive aggressive and the aggressive.

Passive aggressive monologuers can have a two-way conversation, but it is not a fun one. They are the people who talk and talk, and when you interject something they give you a weird look, they yawn, or they roll their eyes. Basically, they act like your response was idiotic, unnecessary, or worthless. Sometimes they look at their watch, as if you are wasting their time. It slowly diminishes any desire to continue contributing to the conversation.

Aggressive monologuers are the people who cut-off what you're saying, spin what you're saying back to themselves or don't let you finish your thought.

For example:

Monologuer: So, I went to this new restaurant the other day and it was bad....Undercooked...No flavour....Yeah, the food at that restaurant was pretty bad.

Other: It was. I ate there last Thursday. My chicken was kind of raw and-

Monologuer: Speaking of raw chicken, when I went to this Thai restaurant my chicken was kind of undercooked. But it was still better than the other one I went to....But the best one I went to was...

Yes, it is pretty frustrating. I must admit, through my experience, a lot of people who do these things don't always do them. Sometimes they just want to talk and unload their day on whoever will listen. But there are people who are constantly doing it.

For those who see this as something they do, don't take it personally. I don't think that most people realize how frustrating it is, or how rude it seems to the other person. So, for future conversations, it is a good thing to keep in mind.

If someone is willing to spend twenty minutes letting you vent and just talk, you can at least feign some sort of interest when they want to talk for two minutes.